Clarity Prevails.

Moving Day

2009-11-04T12:21:00.000-08:00

When I came up with the name for this blog four years ago, I didn't have as clear an idea as the name might suggest. Basically, the name came from a melding of the titles of two Jimmy Eat World albums, Clarity and Static Prevails. The two words used have just always been favorites of mine, so I simply put them together.

The funny thing is that I don't believe clarity prevails. I mean, maybe in the sense of eschatology it does, but here and now in our world of ideologies and different ways of living, it just doesn't. And I think that's a really good thing. I think that's how God meant it to be. It forces humans to create a certain kind of divine friction between themselves that produces not only lasting relationship, but true beauty in our world through collaboration of all kinds.

It is with this wonderful idea that I bring you this news. From now on, I will be posting along with my good friends over at our new "divine collaboration," The Red Collision.

And, yes, I actually will be posting again. I promise. And as an extra bonus, you will also get wonderful musings from the likes of Chris Norwood, Sean Edins & Barry Stanford.

But, wait. There's more. We will also be recording a podcast called The Talkaboutable (weekly, possibly) that will hopefully provide you with some fun conversation from a few pop culture addicts, sifting through all the junk to find truth and humor.

This whole process is just our way of being able to get a breath of fresh air throughout our weeks living in the "real world." We all want to be able to give back in some way, whether it be through music, film, literature, or just trying to make you laugh. This provides us with a much needed outlet to express our particular artistic endeavors.

So, if you love us, please please support us and let us know you're there. My hopes are that this new website isn't just four guys talking into an unplugged microphone, but a community of old (and hopefully new) friends. So please do not hesitate to comment on what you read, hear, or see or send us an email with your thoughts.

So, I say goodbye to clarity and say hello to collision...

Change Is Coming...

2009-09-04T23:44:00.000-07:00

I will hopefully be returning to more active participation in the world of the wide web soon. This blog has turned less into a voice for myself and more into a place for me to dump the things that move me. While I enjoy sharing things not created by myself, it's time to try and elicit a movement (hopefully non-bowel related) that requires more of me adding to the conversation rather than simply observing it.

Not that I won't still be doing my fair share of observation. The culture that surrounds me on a daily basis will always trigger higher truths and I will share them as the need may occur. However, I've simply missed writing freely and more personally. All my "wordly" endeavors as of late have been dedicated to my own private schemes and dreams. And while that, too, has been a good thing and most certainly will continue (or else I'll be a barista for the rest of my life), it's definitely time to get back into blogging and perhaps some other side adventures as well.

This will be coming in the form of a small endeavor with friends that will definitely be fun and hopefully be beneficial to you, whoever the hell it is "you" are. So, give us a couple of weeks, get ready to say goodbye to Clarity Prevails and to say hello to something a little grander and much more worthy of my attention than the morning foam on your latte...

Clarity Prevails.

Tough Part of the Job

2009-08-31T22:18:00.000-07:00

A lot of people think this is just a job that you go to . . . But it's a twenty-four-hour deal, no two ways about it, and what most people don't see is just how hard it is to do the right thing.

People think that if I make a judgment call then that's a judgment on them, but that is not what I do. And that's not what should be done.

Sometimes people need a little help. Sometimes people need to be forgiven. And sometimes they need to go to jail.

And that is a very tricky thing on my part, making that call.

You can forgive someone.

Well, that's the tough part.

What can we forgive?

Clarity Prevails.

John Wayne Gacy, Jr.

2009-08-15T00:57:00.000-07:00

His father was a drinker
And his mother cried in bed
Folding John Wayne's t-shirts
When the swingset hit his head

The neighbors they adored him
For his humor and his conversation
Look underneath the house there
Find the few living things

Rotting fast in their sleep of the dead
Twenty-seven people, even more
They were boys with their cars, summer jobs
Oh my God

He dressed up like a clown for them
With his face paint white and red
And on his best behavior
In a dark room on the bed he kissed them all

He'd kill ten thousand people
With a sleight of his hand
Running far, running fast
To the dead

He took off all their clothes for them
He put a cloth on their lips
Quiet hands, quiet kiss
On the mouth

...And in my best behavior
I am really just like him
Look beneath the floorboards
For the secrets I have hid...

Clarity Prevails.

A Mirror Is Harder to Hold

2009-08-12T23:12:00.000-07:00

I met a man who's looking for perfection
Said he'd never met a girl who's good enough
His eyes are getting old like they'd love to love again
Such a lonely man

I see him in my reflection
Taking steps towards me these days
So I hold you that much closer
And pray we don't throw this away

It's not that I'm a man who couldn't love you
I know what these arms are for
Please don't go, please don't leave me alone
A mirror is so much harder to hold

Clarity Prevails.

The City

2009-08-09T00:17:00.000-07:00

Once, she took the ferry at two o'clock in the morning; she rode to the island, standing alone at the rail of an empty deck. She watched the city moving away from her. In the vast emptiness of sky and ocean, the city was only a small, jagged solid. It seemed condensed, pressed tight together, not a place of streets and separate buildings, but a single sculptured form. A form of irregular steps that rose and dropped without ordered continuity, long ascensions and sudden drops, like the graph of a stubborn struggle. But it went on mounting--toward a few points, toward the triumphant masts of skyscrapers raised out of the struggle.

She stood at the rail, while the city diminished, and she felt the motion of growing distance as a growing tightness within her, the pull of a living cord that could not be stretched too far. She stood in quiet excitement, when the boat sailed back and she saw the city growing again to meet her. She stretched her arms wide. The city expanded, to her elbows, to her wrists, beyond her finger tips. Then the skyscrapers rose over her head, and she was back.

Clarity Prevails.

Here Comes Everybody

2009-08-01T23:21:00.000-07:00

In the interest of engaging the neuroses and the bad religion that keep us resentful and resistant to the suggestion that the only thing to do with a common wealth is to share it, I have what I take to be an evangelically winning anecdote. My story occurred at a family reunion.

I once had an aged relative who wouldn't suffer anyone he took to be a fool, and his least favorite ship of fools was crewed by his family. With persuasion, he managed to appear at the gathering. But as soon as he could, he made his way into a spare room and took a very long nap. He came. He saw. He slept. And got away with it. At least no one could say he hadn't shown up.

After his nap, his sister spotted him and said, "Where have you been?"

"I was asleep," he replied with the ease of a wit who knew he need fear no attempt at reprimand. But he wasn't done with her. "And you know what?"

"What?"

"One of these days I'm just gonna keep on sleeping."

The macabre note of this remark might require some explanation. This relative was extremely well versed in the biblical witness and all manner of religious controversy. Both were intertwined within this family's culture in such a way that conversation in this direction was highly unpleasant (hence the bad energy of reunions). "I won't have to deal with you, and you won't have to deal with me," he seemed to say in a Daniel Plainview way. "Anyone care to dispute it?" He'd thrown down the gauntlet, and, as his sister excused herself, I decided to pick it up.

"And you know what you're gonna find when you wake up?"

"What?"

"More people."

And he laughed until he coughed. He knew I was taking a shot at his meanness by way of an appeal to a coming redemption, a more long-term reunion than this business with families, we might say. And it won't play to our tastes. It's a larger hospitality than most of us feel we can afford most of the time. It's the common decency that is the only eternal life worth talking about. If hell is other people, as Jean-Paul Sartre observed, it is probably also the case, as C.S. Lewis's the The Great Divorce proposed, that heaven is too. We'd better get used to it. There's no getting away from each other. God help us. And if we aren't up for finding one another interesting and valuable now (relatives, coworkers, enemies, immigrants), why do we suppose we'll want the human community then? Relationships are what we've got, the currency, we might say, of the kingdom that is here and coming. Were we hoping to get away from everyone?

I suspect there's something a little demonic in finding others boring or unworthy of our interest. Something profoundly antithetical to the life to come that Jesus describes, something resistant to the hospitality to come, the good graces on which we've all along depended. Contrary to many Bible-wielding motivational speakers and popular end-time novels, we do not know the details of how the end will sort out. But the messy fact of other people, near and far, reminds us that all grace is social. Bringing it back down to people (not disembodied souls, after all) will keep the good news seriously imaginable, seriously having to do with what we do with people--how we do by them--now. The good news of God's economy is inescapably social. Ready or not.

~ The Sacredness of Questioning Everything by David Dark

If you haven't quite realized it yet, I highly reccommend picking up this book.

Clarity Prevails.

Sight of My Own Blood

2009-07-28T22:46:00.000-07:00

Ursula K. Le Guin, in a strange and very short story called "The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas," speaks to our eschatologies. Omelas, or place of happiness, we come to understand, is a sovereign state where everybody knows your name, every citizen is well fed and satisfied, and a profound care and artistry inform all architecture, all work, and all leisure. Well-being, depth of feeling, and even hilarity are in every corner of this global green zone in which people know what life's about and a sense of dignity infuses every moment of existence from the womb to the tomb. No secret police, no guilt, no advertisements, no weapons. Just cultivation, development, and beautifully well-balanced abundance.

There's always a "but." And this "but" involves a sight every citizen of Omelas is made to see when he or she comes of age. It's an initiation rite reserved for that stage of development when people are ready to be realistic, capable of understanding certain necessities and ready to receive an explanation concerning the cost of their freedom.

Somewhere underneath the grandeur of Omelas, a child is kept in a dark, windowless room with a locked door and almost no light. People come to see the child, but no one is allowed to communicate or interrupt the child's fear and suffering, born of neglect and malnutrition. Each day the child is allowed a half bowl of cornmeal and a replenished water jug, placed within reach as the door closes. The child's resigned silence is sometimes broken with promises of good behavior upon release--a release the people of Omelas grimly understand must never be allowed to occur.

"Some of them understand why, and some do not, but they all understand that their happiness, the beauty of their city, the tenderness of their friendships, the health of their children, the wisdom of their scholars, the skill of their makers, even the abundance of their harvest and the kindly weather of the skies, depend wholly on this child's abominable misery. . . . There is nothing they can do. . . . These are the terms . . . this [is the] terrible paradox."

In her narration, Le Guin makes clear that the people of Omelas understand how terribly unjust and bitter this is, but they understand too that freedom is messy. They would have to accept the loss of their lifestyle to allow the child full access to health and nurture. But the child, they reason, is too far gone, too acustomed to its suffering squalor, to ever be fully blessed and incorporated into the public benefits of Omelas. Decorum requires that this fact be faced but only stated among those brave few with the stomach to handle the truth. In the scales of history, the price of one never-to-be-released soul for the needs of the many is worth it.

But there's always another "but." It is said that there are those who refuse the equation placed before them by the elders of Omelas. Some adolescents reach the initiatory rite of seeing the child--facing the facts--only to discover this state of affairs and walk away from all they've ever known. Others, after years of consenting to it, experience a moment of clarity and make the same exit.

"They keep walking, and walk straight out of the city of Omelas, through the beautiful gates. They keep walking across the farmlands of Omelas. Each one goes alone . . . out into the darkness of the fields . . . ahead into the darkness, and they do not come back. The place they go toward is a place even less imaginable to most of us than the city of happiness. I cannot describe it at all. It is possible that it does not exist. But they seem to know where they are going, the ones who walk away from Omelas."

Le Guin's story enriches the notion of a called-out people, whether we recall the Abrahamic call out of the land of Ur, Siddhartha Gautama's exodus from the pleasure palaces, Muhammad's retreat from Mecca to Medina, or the Greek term "ekklesia," "the called out," which the English New Testament translates as "church." I hope to be affiliated with those who walk away or disengage from death-dealing economies. But I don't want to claim affiliation in a manner that would blind me to my own complicity in that which destroys life. Even as we walk away from our Omelas, we wear the city's fine clothes and comfortable shoes.

Le Guin reminds me that the regime change I pray for when I pray the Lord's Prayer is an economy, a kingdom, that could never be private. It never excludes and never stops redeeming. Or as the ancients put it, the kingdom is the creative work of a God whose center is everywhere and whose circumference is nowhere. The boundaries we erect and the prison walls we defensively construct won't hold.

Against the Omelasian economies of our own day--in which we refuse to recognize the sight of our own blood in the lives of those we call "collateral damage," the masses on the strangled end of "global trade," and the people who die because they were born in the wrong place--the Lord's Prayer posits an evangelical economics that is good news, first of all, for the least of these. This prayer Jesus teaches us to pray and the kingdom it extols have conjured--and continue to conjure--heretofore unimagined civilizing possibilities among people and the ways they order themselves, expanding the sphere of peace in the direction of justice, of a hospitality without frontiers.

We might note that Salem, the backward variation of Olemas, is a name the prophets have for Jerusalem, and that Salem itself is derived from shalom, the real peace that troubles our imaginations, especially when the peace we talk about is a sham. While I don't believe in compulsory prayer, I confess I'd like to make Le Guin's tale compulsory reading for people in high school classrooms, people overseeing international monetary funds, and people who shape governmental policies. Actually, I want everyone to read it.

John Berger, the British literary expatriate turned French farmer, offers an excellent word on the generative power of stories, which, like prayers, call us out of the consentual fictions that constitute our unjust economies: "A story refers life to an alternative and more final judge who is far away. Maybe the judge is located in the future, or in the past that is still attentive, or maybe somewhere over the hill, where the day's luck has changed . . . so that the last have become first."

~ The Sacredness of Questioning Everything by David Dark

Clarity Prevails.

Comfort Eagle

2009-07-25T23:30:00.000-07:00

We are building a religion
We are building it bigger
We are widening the corridors
And adding more lanes

Clarity Prevails.

An Ultimatum

2009-07-20T16:56:00.000-07:00

The thought of her remained. He watched it with curiosity. It was strange to be conscious of another person's existence, to feel it as a close, urgent necessity; a necessity without qualifications, neither pleasant nor painful, merely final like an ultimatum. It was important to know that she existed in the world.

Clarity Prevails.

Philosophia

2009-07-18T22:06:00.000-07:00

When we're young, we set our hearts upon some beautiful idea
Maybe something from a holy book or French philosophia
Upon the thoughts of better men than us we swear by and decree
A perfect way to end the war of ways, the only way to be

A work of art
Oh to be a work of art

But in time a thought comes tugging on the sleeve edge of our minds
Perhaps no perfect way exists at all, just many different kinds
Oh but if it's just a thing of taste, then everything unwinds
For without an absolute, how can the absolute define

A work of art
Oh to be a work of art

Clarity Prevails.

Skeleton

2009-07-11T23:53:00.000-07:00

But love travels like a rumor here
Losing form with every ear
A skeleton of something more

Clarity Prevails.

Ghosts

2009-07-07T21:49:00.000-07:00

I can't decide if I'm living or I'm dying.

So I test your love.

And I test your love.

And I test your love.

Clarity Prevails.

For the Love of Heaven

2009-07-04T18:13:00.000-07:00

Elie Wiesel once witnessed Martin Buber speak with great interpretive wit in a conversation with some Christian clergy who had dropped what was potentially a conversational bomb. Why don't Jews, they wanted to know, accept Jesus as Messiah? Buber offered an imaginative word:

"What is the difference between Jews and Christians? We all await the Messiah. You believe He has already come and gone, while we do not. I therefore propose that we await Him together. And when He appears, we can ask Him: "Were you here before?" ... And I hope that at that moment I will be close enough to whisper in his ear, "For the love of heaven, don't answer."

~ David Dark, The Sacredness of Questioning Everything

Clarity Prevails.

God of Wine

2009-07-03T00:56:00.000-07:00

There's a memory of a window
Looking through I see you
Searching for something
I could never give you

There's someone who understands you
More than I do
A sadness I can't erase
All alone on your face

Clarity Prevails.

Selective Fundamentalism

2009-05-26T00:55:00.000-07:00

The feeling of offendedness is invigorating. It might even be an effective way to bend a population toward a tyrant's will. But we must never settle for it. We must not confuse an accelerated pulse rate for the presence of the Holy Spirit in our hearts. We must interrogate our offendedness, hold it open for question. Complaining about Harry Potter or getting worked up over The Golden Compass (Philip Pullman's literary response to the damage done to people's imaginations in the name of religion) or pitting ticket sales of the Narnia films against Brokeback Mountain is a much less complicated call than that whole business about loving neighbors, to say nothing about loving enemies. If we're more opposed, for instance, to what we take to be "bad language" and nude scenes and films about gay people than we are to people being blown up, starved to death, deprived of life-saving medicine, or tortured, our offendedness is out of whack. We have yet to understand the nature of real perversion. We aren't as deeply acquainted with our religion we might think.

To keep it all simple and safe, we often become selective fundamentalists. We know where to go to have our prejudices explained as just and sensible, our convictions strengthened, our group or political party reaffirmed. We process whatever already fits the grid that is hardwired (or re-hardwired) in our heads. It's difficult for anything else to get through. We're easily offended. Maybe we're looking to feel offended, which can make us feel better about ourselves. Feeling offended summons a sense of being in the right, a certain strength, a kind of power, an espresso shot of righteous indignation. And if the image of God hardwired into our nervous system is easily offended and put off by certain people and their offensive behavior, there's a feeling of being that much closer to the winning side, that much more likely to be numbered among the elect, the saved, the documented.

We can live, if we choose to, with a kind of Styrofoam casing around our imaginations, an informational echo chamber. We can and do surround ourselves with people who think the same thing we think, people who won't challenge us, and people who've learned to avoid certain topics while in our presence. It's a natural, understandable, deeply human need to have our thoughts and opinions mirrored to us in verbal exchanges. We all need positive reinforcement.

But if we feel deep affection only for people who tell us we're right and only give high fives to the like-minded, all we've done is joined a club. We risk becoming incapable of the give-and-take of genuine conversation. If all our friends and news sources require of us is a "Ditto" and "I think what you think," we might be in danger of becoming impenetrable to wisdom, immunized against the sensation of sympathy, resistant to the pleasure of being amused by our own ignorance, and closed to the joy of being wrong.

We seek out and even pay for our own hypnosis. Via television, radio, the Internet, and print, we receive our news product, fashioned and delivered by people who tidy up reality for us. If it isn't sufficiently tidied up, prepackaged and shrink-wrapped to fit our fearfulness, if our minds don't click into place quickly enough to satisfy our stunted attention spans, we change the channel or move to another site. We move swiftly from scenes that might call into question our exclusively saved, right-thinking status.

Jesus' gospel is never at our command, under our copyright, or contained within an -ism, an ideology, or any well-intentioned human construct. The question is always whether Jesus' rare ethos has gotten hold of us in any discernible way. To answer the question we must stop defining ourselves by all the things we're against. We might also ask what, other than getting saved in the shallowest sense, we actually stand for.

~ David Dark, The Sacredness of Questioning Everything

Clarity Prevails.

Falling Slowly

2009-05-24T00:12:00.000-07:00

You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won.

Clarity Prevails.

Tweeting William Gibson

2009-05-19T20:07:00.000-07:00

I follow William Gibson on Twitter. I know, I am that cool. Tonight, he was "tweeting" (I know, I REALLY am that cool) about politics and had this to say... These are comprised of three separate "tweets" for those of you who are counting the 140 character mark, which I know some of you exist...

"What if Obama is deeply conventional, and profoundly centrist, but many haven't seen this because we've grown used to such hideous grotesques? Not that I necessarily think that would be a bad thing, under the circumstances. The left-right spectrum is not a straight line but a circle, the far side of which, either way you go, is the same murderous batshit."

Clarity Prevails.

Night Life

2009-05-13T23:45:00.000-07:00

You know the night life is just not for me
Cause all you really need are a few good friends
I don't want to go out and be on my own
You know they started something I can't stand

You leave for the city, well count me out
Cause all this time is wasted on
Well, everything I've done

~ the format

Clarity Prevails.

Schmolitics

2009-05-12T19:45:00.000-07:00

Conservative assume I'm liberal. Liberals assume I'm conservative. Re-encountering Jesus on a daily basis has led me to one definitive answer to the question of whether or not I am a Liberal or a Conservative. That answer? "Non-applicable."

"A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned to walk forward." ~ Franklin D. Roosevelt

"A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel." ~ Robert Frost

Everything in this world is fleeting. Even our political ideologies.

Clarity Prevails.

Her Beautiful Ideas

2009-05-09T01:09:00.000-07:00

She used to say about love
That it should come from above
And it should come from below

She used to say "my love,
Wear the lips of a saint
And the hips of a whore"

And when we'd walk along the street she'd say
"If it rains now I hope to God it pours"
And with her beautiful ideas
She'd cut me in half clean as a broad sword

She used to say that magic was the edge
And science and God
They were the sides of a copper penny piece

And it's far better to keep it
Spinning and spinning and spinning
Than for one side to fall and to freeze

And then we'd walk along the pier
She'd point at the waves and say "Under there
That's where we go when we're asleep"

You know once she let is slip
That I was the best
Of her beautiful ideas

~ the guggenheim grotto

*I know, I keep posting song lyrics. Get over it. I'm going through a phase.

Clarity Prevails.

Told You So

2009-05-04T22:29:00.001-07:00

When the world is wide
Wicked and wild
And watching my every move
I gather thoughts of you
And that's what lovers do.

You've said before
When every act is a war
And every shade
Just another shade of blue
You'd have me walk with you
And that's what lovers do.

Told you so...
I'm in love with you
Told you so...
And I think you love me too.

When you go walking away
With the wind and the waves
And flirting with your feet
You take a part of me
And that's what lovers feel.

And when you come upon a time
And a place sublime
And it shows you something real
You wish me there to see
And that's what lovers feel.

Told you so...
I'm in love with you
Told you so...
And I think you love me too.

At a party I've thrown
The morning has grown
And someone's going your way
You tell them you'd rather stay
And that's what lovers say.

So to the garden we go
Quiet and slow
And we watch the world awake
You know I love you for love's sake
Isn't that what lovers say?

Told you so...
I'm in love with you
Told you so...
And I know you love me too.

~ the guggenheim grotto

Clarity Prevails.

Intro

2009-05-02T00:46:00.000-07:00

Look at you.

You are so tiny.

Made from millions of atoms

Created by exploding stars.

Look.

Afraid of dying.

Thinking in circles.

If only...

I wish...

Such pity...

When you realize

How perfect everything is.

You will tilt your head back

And laugh at the sky.

Clarity Prevails.

Finis Vitae Sed Non Amore

2009-04-27T21:27:00.000-07:00

"On the surface, I was calm; in secret, without really admitting it, I was waiting for something. Her return? How could I have been waiting for that? We all know that we are material creatures, subject to the laws of physiology and physics, and not even the power of all our feelings combined can defeat those laws. All we can do is detest them. The age-old faith of lovers and poets in the power of love, stronger than death, that finis vitae sed non amore, is a lie, useless and not even funny."

~ Stanislaw Lem, Solaris

Clarity Prevails.

Passenger Seat

2009-04-04T23:22:00.000-07:00

I roll the window down
And then begin to breathe in
The darkest country road
And the strong scent of evergreen
From the passenger seat as you are driving me home

Then looking upwards
I strain my eyes and try
To tell the difference between shooting stars and satellites
From the passenger seat as you are driving me home

"Do they collide?"
I ask and you smile
With my feet on the dash
The world doesn't matter

"When you feel embarrassed then I'll be your pride"
"When you need direction then I'll be the guide"
"For all time"
"For all time"

-dcfc.

Clarity Prevails.

Calling Off the Game: More Words from Robert Farrar Capon

2009-03-15T01:07:00.000-07:00

"Religion, therefore - despite the correctness of its insistence that something needs to be done about our relationship with God - remains unqualified bad news: it traps us in a game we will always and everywhere lose. But the Gospel of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is precisely Good News. It is the announcement, in the death and resurrection of Jesus, that God has simply called off the game - that he has taken all the disasters religion was trying to remedy and, without any recourse to religion at all, set them to rights by himself. How sad, then, when the church acts as if it is in the religion business rather than in the Gospel-proclaiming business. What a disservice, not only to itself but to a world perpetually sinking in the quagmire of religiosity, when it harps on creed, cult, and conduct as the touchstones of salvation. What a perversion of the truth that sets us free (John 8:32) when it takes the news that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us (Rom. 5:8), and turns it into a proclamation of God as just one more insufferable bookkeeper."

~ Robert Farrar Capon, The Parables of Grace

Clarity Prevails.

15 Albums

2009-02-26T20:54:00.000-08:00

A interesting circulating note is going around Facebook called “15 Albums.” You are supposed to list 15 albums that changed your life. I find that to be a bit dramatic, so I’m going to go with 15 albums that kicked me in the balls in a good way. Ladies may not quite understand this, but when a man is kicked in that so tender of places, it reverberates in pain for what seems like an eternity. Hence me talking about some albums that have reverberated in me since the first time I listened to them. These are the albums that I adore and still listen to over and over, almost always in there entirety. Some are quite new, but I am confident that 20 years from now, my kids will be rolling their eyes when their goofball dad blasts these albums in their flying car (still holding out hope... for flying cars, not to be a dad).

Before we get underway, I’m forced to swallow my pride a little bit and make three honorable mentions. You see, I grew up in a rather secure Christian subculture and, like many others, my first introduction to music was through the only music my parents would allow me to listen to. My first love of music came out of these three albums and I still hold a special and strange place in my heart for them. The first is Michael W. Smith’s Change Your World. Wiki this crap and check out the album cover and you’ll understand my pride-swallowing. It is eighties pop to the core. And not just eighties pop. Christian eighties pop. I still love it, though. The second album is the Newsboys’ Going Public. This thing really introduced me to not only big-time melodies but rather smart and witty lyrics (at least to a 12 year old.) Lastly, we have DC Talk’s Free at Last. I swear I’ve listened to this album over 500 times in my life. I know every lyric to the core, right down to the beatbox in the background. It’s frightening.

For the 15 albums I’m gonna keep my commentary short because I’m planning a series of posts on my top 100 favorite songs and I don’t want to bury the lead here, so I’m gonna try and not talk about specific songs as they will find themselves on that list. My hope is that you might go check these albums out for yourself and maybe agree with me.

15.) The Weepies – Say I Am You
If I ever need to be put into a good mood, this is one of the albums I turn to the most. They wear there emotions on their sleeves and make no apologies for it. The song-writing is so seemingly simplistic at first, but after a few listens you start to realize how meticulous each lyric and melody is.

14.) Under the Influence of Giants – Self-Titled
Self-described as “Prince getting into a knife fight with the Who.” It’s a perfect description. The music is just fun. It’s rock laced with disco and dance and influenced by tons of different bands and artists past and present.

13.) Led Zeppelin – Led Zeppelin IV
Arguably the greatest rock album ever made. Chuck Klosterman gives a great write-up of it in his book, Chuck Klosterman IV (ironically enough.) Klosterman takes each song on the album and explains why he believes each separate song invented a separate subcategory of heavy metal in the following decades. I don’t know if that’s true or not, but I really love this album.

12.) The Swell Season – Self-Titled
If you haven’t heard how balls-out Glen Hansard sings, you’ve never heard passion before. He’s unlike any musician I know (of) when it comes to being 110% in a song, mind and body. Huge man-crush. This album consists of he and Marketa Irglova (huge normal-crush) and consists of most of the songs from the film, Once, which they starred in. It’s wonderful wonderful music.

11.) Jars of Clay – Much Afraid
Jars of Clay are one of the only Christian bands these days actually saying something and actually making really great music. Much Afraid was there second album and was also the album that basically alienated most of their fans from there debut. It was extremely different both in style and tone. They suddenly weren’t afraid to admit that just because they were Christians didn’t mean they knew everything. The album is filled with self-doubting and hard questions posed to God and to humanity. It marked the beginning of Dan Haseltine’s lyrical journey from a steadfast Christian subculture to an incredibly emergent and relevant band. Every subsequent album has been something radically different musically from the last and each is great in it’s own right.

10.) The Who – Who’s Next
Epic. It’s the best way I can explain this album. I’ll have much more to say on this in my “100 Favorite Songs” series.

9.) U2 – The Joshua Tree
A different kind of epic. More transcendental. By far, U2’s most spiritual album and it contains many of their greatest songs. The album could play like a mini greatest hits album. They never sounded quite as good after this.

8.) Jimmy Eat World – Bleed American
I honestly can’t describe my love for Jimmy Eat World. Most bands that people would compare them to, I generally hate. That kind of “punk-pop” music like All American Rejects and Fall Out Boy. But there’s just something different about Jimmy Eat World’s music. It has a depth to it that those other bands don’t even come close to achieving. Also they are masters of a good melody and know how to ink it without it becoming annoying. I heard “Sweetness” on the radio one day and immediately went out and bought this album. I’ve enjoyed every album since.

7.) The Beatles - Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band
My favorite Beatles album changes back and forth between this, Revolver, and Abbey Road. But I have to choose this one as the one that really blew me away and made me fall in love. It’s the Beatles at their most fearless and reckless and what they created was pure genius. Every song is one big experiment in music and each one is now a classic. This thing could have so easily been a complete failure, but it not only was a massive success, it changed the face of rock and roll. Label me superlative, but every rock artist after this album owes some form of debt to the Beatles.

6.) Death Cab for Cutie – Transatlanticism
I was at a friend’s house who owned this album and I picked up the liner notes and started reading the lyrics (something I rarely do.) I fell in love with the lyrics before I even heard one note of music. Ben Gibbard is a poet and, for some reason, in a rock band. They transition so easily from wry sarcastic lyrics to poignant songs about death and pain so smoothly. It’s like a strange collaboration between Bob Dylan and Emily Dickinson.

5.) Josh Ritter – The Animal Years
Speaking of Bob Dylan. Josh Ritter is amazing. Such lyrical depth with a downhome folksy flair about it. Whether he is critiquing the government or the church, he does it in a way that’s both damning and hopeful. I never get tired of listening to him and this album, in particular, is a masterpiece.

4.) Radiohead – The Bends
I know most people would claim OK Computer as Radiohead’s best album, but this is my favorite. Like the Beatles’ Revolver, it’s a transition album. A transition into something bigger and better. There is something about listening to Radiohead find their footing all through this album that would eventually lead to what they are now. It gives me chills. Each song is grounded in that Pablo Honey style but spiced up with the transcendent style that would soon follow.

3.) Coldplay – Viva La Vida
I have finally found my favorite Coldplay album. They are probably my favorite band and for the longest time I could never decide which album I liked the most. Ironically, the first time I heard this album, I was a little underwhelmed. However, after multiple listens it really came to life for me. This thing is like a fine wine, with layers upon layers of flavor. Each listen, I get something different out of it. I think this is their first album that must be listened to in it’s entirety to really understand it. Each song blends into the next one through the music and themes. It’s like some epic film that you have to concentrate deeply to really understand and appreciate.

2.) Oasis – (What’s the Story) Morning Glory?
I’ve had to buy this CD twice because I listened to it so much. By far, their greatest album, it was their zenith. Filled with hit upon hit and always with that bombastic style and smartass attitude that made them famous. It’s like listening to a live album without the audience track.

1.) Third Eye Blind – Self-Titled
I freaking love this album. It’s still as fresh sounding to me as the day I bought it and I’ve probably listened to it the most out of anything else I own. The ironic thing is that the first half of the album is made up of all the hits that everybody knew, but my favorite was the second half of the album featuring perfect angst-ridden anthems about lost love and heartbreak. Stephen Jenkins is one of my favorite lyricists and performers and the last three songs on the album (“The Background,” “Motorcycle Drive-By,” and “God of Wine”) are one of my all-time favorite medleys of songs. In those three songs, he puts everything out on the table. There is rarely an artist who is willing to just open up a vein and just bleed all over their work like he is willing to do. Greatness.

Clarity Prevails.

Funny Cuz It's Truth

2009-02-16T22:35:00.000-08:00

It was a busy day in heaven as folks waited in line at the pearly gates. Peter stood as gatekeeper, checking each newcomer's name in the Lamb's Book of Life. But there was some confusion because the numbers weren't adding up. Heaven was a little overcrowded, and a bunch of folks were unaccounted for. So some of the angels were sent to investigate. And it wasn't long before two of them returned. "We found the problem," they said. "Jesus is out back, lifting people up over the gate."

Clarity Prevails.

The Economy of Wendell Berry

2009-02-15T17:16:00.000-08:00

"The sense of the holiness of life" is not compatible with an exploitive economy. You cannot know that life is holy if your are content to live from economic practices that daily destroy life and diminish its possibility. And many if not most Christian organizations now appear to be perfectly at peace with the military-industrial economy and its "scientific" destruction of life. Surely, if we are to remain free, and if we are to remain true to our religious inheritances, we must maintain a separation between church and state. But if we are to maintain any sense or coherence or meaning in our lives, we cannot tolerate the present utter disconnection between religion and economy. By "economy" I do not mean "economics," which is the study of money-making, but rather the ways of human housekeeping, the ways by which the human household is situated and maintained with the household of Nature. To be uninterested in economy is to be uninterested in the practice of religion; it is to be uninterested in culture and in character.

Probably the most urgent question now faced by people who would adhere to the Bible is this: What sort of economy would be responsible to the holiness of life? What, for Christians, would be the economy, the practices and the restraints, of "right livelihood?" I do not believe that organized Christianity now has any idea. I think its idea of a Christian economy is no more or less than the industrial economy--which is an economy firmly founded upon the seven deadly sins and the breaking of all ten of the Ten Commandments. Obviously, if Christianity is going to survive as more than a respecter and comforter of profitable iniquities, then Christians, regardless of their organizations, are going to have to interest themselves in economy--which is to say, in nature and in work. They are going to have to give workable answers to those who say we cannot live without this economy that is destroying us and our world, who see the murder of Creation as the only way of life."

~ Wendell Berry, Sex, Economy, Freedom, and Community: Eight Essays

Clarity Prevails.

Good News: An Interesting Take from Robert Farrar Capon

2009-01-28T22:55:00.000-08:00

Robert Farrar Capon on sin and salvation.

"I am and I am not a universalist. I am one if you are talking about what God in Christ has done to save the world. The Lamb of God has not taken away the sins of some — of only the good, or the cooperative, or the select few who can manage to get their act together and die as perfect peaches. He has taken away the sins of the world — of every last being in it — and he has dropped them down the black hole of Jesus’ death. On the cross, he has shut up forever on the subject of guilt: “There is therefore now no condemnation. . . .” All human beings, at all times and places, are home free whether they know it or not, feel it or not, believe it or not.

But I am not a universalist if you are talking about what people may do about accepting that happy-go-lucky gift of God’s grace. I take with utter seriousness everything that Jesus had to say about hell, including the eternal torment that such a foolish non-acceptance of his already-given acceptance must entail. All theologians who hold Scripture to be the Word of God must inevitably include in their work a tractate on hell. But I will not — because Jesus did not — locate hell outside the realm of grace. Grace is forever sovereign, even in Jesus’ parables of judgment. No one is ever kicked out at the end of those parables who wasn’t included in at the beginning."

Capon is an Episcopalian priest, author and scholar. I tend to agree with a lot of what he says here both in my own theology and my own studies of scripture. What I particularly find freeing and hopeful about this kind of interpretation is how it actually presents the Gospel for what it is: the Good News. The Way of Christ is presented as something to join in, rather than something to run to from the "sinful life." It is an positive invitation to join into "life to the full" through grace, not a negative rebuke focused on sin. If there is one thing the Gospels show us, it's that grace always triumphs over judgment.

Clarity Prevails.

To Whom It May Concern

2009-01-21T23:14:00.000-08:00

To Whom It May Concern:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s law. I have learned a great deal from you, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination—end of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God’s laws and how to follow them.

1.) Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

2.) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3.) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is: how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4.) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor to the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5.) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6.) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this? Are there degrees of abomination?

7.) Leviticus 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

8.) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Leviticus 19:27. How should they die?

9.) I know from Leviticus 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10.) My uncle has a farm. He violates Leviticus 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton-polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them (Lev. 24:10-16)? Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws (Lev. 20:14)?

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.

~ Garry Willis, What Jesus Meant

Just to clarify, I don’t post this trying to make any kind of firm stance on homosexuality itself. This issue is an important one and will be one of the biggest as America moves further into the future. I simply seek to remind that if we begin using God’s word as a tool for hate (despite understanding its historical context), we will not only fail as human beings but as followers of Christ.

I do not know all the answers to this particular situation, but I do know the foundation with which it desperately needs to be built. A foundation of love, dialogue and friendship. Christ showed us that life will always win over death and, with his life, showed that love will always win over hate.

Clarity Prevails.

God Is Friction

2008-12-09T21:26:00.000-08:00

I was forced to participate in a spin class tonight. It was taxing to say the least. However, I realized something strange about myself. Anytime I have ever been in a position where I am being led in some kind of work-out by a female instructor, at the very beginning I find her incredibly annoying and by the end of the hour, I have a huge crush on her. I think this says a lot about me.

Anyway, that's not at all what this post is about. I had to write an essay answering the question, "Who is God?", for my Doctrine of God class. The smallest tip off the biggest iceberg, I know. I just wanted to share some excerpts from the essay that I particularly liked.

KNOWLEDGE OF GOD

One’s knowledge of God is always limited by the fact that we are mere humans contemplating something vastly bigger than ourselves. At the same time, even within individual beings there exists certain roadblocks to knowledge whether it come in the form of a poor education or a mental handicap. Perhaps through these instances, one could redefine what a “knowledge” of God could ideally mean. In our modern western context, “knowledge” is something reserved for the remembrance of facts and statistics. Perhaps there is a deeper “knowing” involved with God that transcends Bible verse memorization or any systematic theology.

Paying a visit to the proverbial “lone man on an island,” we can ask him who God is and would be met with a blank stare. However, perhaps the man who has never heard the strict concept of God just knows God on a different level. When he lays down at night and gazes up at the stars, somewhere in his consciousness perhaps he knows the creator. Perhaps he constantly discovers attributes of God as he lives his life, exploring the vast well of human emotions within himself through feelings of love, grace, mercy, responsibility, and most important of all, the yearning for companionship.

In other words, a knowledge of God is more fruitful if one “knows” God like one “knows” their neighbor. When someone asks, “Do you know Charles?” you might say, “Yes, I know Charles.” When you think of how exactly you know Charles, you don’t begin listing the biological makeup of the human body or begin to describe the certain factors within Charles’ metabolism that has led him to be rather obese. You describe Charles through your relationship to him and his personality as evident through the interactions and conversations you have had with him. Surely God intends for us to know God like this, through relationship rather than through facts and figures.

Upon trying to understand God, it must be understood to be a lifelong commitment. This is not a crossword puzzle you can sit down one sunny afternoon and figure out. This is an ongoing and relational journey that never ends. The dangers surrounding this path is if that journey ever stops. When one brings the pursuit to a halt and refuses to challenge their beliefs, stopping to put a particular version of God in a box, idolatry is now being committed. Your idol may claim the same name as God, but not allowing yourself to be flexible before God limits God in your life. A constant and humble understanding that you could very well be wrong must accompany you on your journey or else you are forming God in your own image, rather than the other way around.

THE TRINITY

The Trinity is key to understanding both the inner-workings of God as well as God’s purpose for humanity. God, the Son and the Holy Spirit are known as the Trinity, however I am not going to focus on each. The way to understand Trinity is to examine the space between God, the Son and the Holy Spirit. This is a relationship that exists within God. God is composed of relationship. Perhaps this is what it means when it is said that humanity is created in the image of God. Relationship is not a human construct, after all, but a divine marker given to us by our creator to help understand God better.

Using this model, God can be seen within every relationship. A good relationship connects us to God, while a poor relationship strains that connection. Anytime one can practice reconciliation and love with another human being brings us one step closer to understanding God. It is this divine relationship in God and in the world that we can truly praise, follow, and know God. When we hate our fellow man whether by the color of their skin, their sexual orientation, their particular ideologies, or just because we want to, we break that tie with God. The Trinity is but a model in which to follow the path of genuine relationship in a broken world, constantly giving of one’s self to another.

In this same way, humanity can come to better understand God’s attributes and even emotions through their relationships with others. The joy one gets as he or she sees their best friend after a long time apart, the unbreakable bond between siblings, or the love of a married couple vowing to give of themselves to the other for the rest of their lives are but simple echoes of the greater love and companionship in which God strives and yearns to bring us into as well. At the same time, when someone wrongs you and you pursue forgiveness rather than vengeance, despite the other’s feelings on the matter, this also ushers us into an understanding of the true heart of God.

It is this way of living that is the purpose of salvation. Christ did not die on the cross for the simple reward of going to Heaven. Christ came and taught this way of living in constant pure and good relationship with others and with God. It is this relational living, this participation in God that transcends our sinful lives. Christ dying on the cross granted everyone the opportunity to join in this way of living. God’s purpose is for creation to live in this way here and now, obtaining salvation through the constant practice of love and reconciliation. This brings us closer and closer to God as well as giving us a clear purpose while living on this broken planet, reconciling it to God daily through the power we have gained through Christ.

TRANSCENDENCE & IMMANENCE

On the issues of transcendence and immanence, I do not find the two to be mutually exclusive. The problems that can arise in claiming this equal those that could be said of a person both God and human as well as explaining God as one, yet also three. If God is not both fully transcendent and immanent, then at there is some balance between the two. Either way, both seem to be evident both in history and in the present day.

The transcendence of God seems to be a given throughout nature and human experience. Common sense, itself, can easily attribute this to the creator of the universe. God is most definitely a separate entity from the universe in which we live and operate. Transcending our human boundaries of space and time, male and female, life and death. God exists on a plane of existence completely unlike anything we could possibly understand.

However, it is this same transcendence that also supports God’s immanence. For as God lives outside of time and space, God is eternal. Humanity is bound by time and space. Time continues on no matter what we do and we can never be in two places at once. God is timeless and spaceless, ever-present and eternal. If you were able to sit down with God and ask, “Do you remember when you gave Moses the ten commandments?” God might reply, “I’m actually doing that right now. As well as talking with you, making a covenant with Abraham, taking Elijah up on a chariot of fire, and watching humanity kill my only son.” Through God’s transcendence of time and space, God is immanent in our world and in our lives.

Clarity Prevails.

Truth's Distant Cousin

2008-11-29T22:09:00.000-08:00

Haven't popular "news" organizations just turned into another form of reality television which is more likely scripted than having anything to do with reality? Especially during this past election, Fox News and MSNBC just revealed themselves to be absolutely ridiculous. Whether it was MSNBC with their complete unabashed crush on Barack Obama or Fox News practicing flat-out fear-mongering to convince us all he was a racist terrorist who would have the power and wherewithal to turn the country into the next Soviet Union. (Oh, he enjoys killing babies too.)

It really has become shameful, but even the news doesn't frighten me as much as those, whether conservative or liberal, who just eat it up and believe every single word they are told. So which is worse? Those who stretch the truth for their own agenda, or those who swallow it just to make themselves feel better? After all, who's got the time and energy to think for themselves these days? Thomas Merton puts it in better words than I ever could...

"Propaganda makes up our mind for us, but in such a way that it leaves us the sense of pride and satisfaction of men who have made up their own minds. And in the last analysis, propaganda achieves this effect because we want it to. This is one of the few real pleasures left to modern man: this illusion that he is thinking for himself when, in fact, someone else is doing his thinking for him."

Are we living in a society where truth is no longer welcome, but only recycled thought? God, I hope not.

Clarity Prevails.

The Balloon Theory

2008-11-15T00:53:00.000-08:00

For quite a while it has been possible for a free and thoughtful person to see that to treat life as mechanical or predictable or understandable is to reduce it. Now, almost suddenly, it is becoming clear that to reduce life to the scope of our understanding (whatever “model” we use) is inevitably to enslave it, make property of it, and put it up for sale…. This is to give up on life, to carry it beyond change and redemption, and to increase the proximity of despair.

Wendell Berry

Life Is a Miracle: An Essay Against Modern Superstition

For some reason, balloons are a big part of my memories of childhood. It wasn’t necessarily the joy of their colors or how they seemed to “magically” float in the air that grasped me as a child, but ironically it was the constant possibility of losing them to the vast and endless sky above me. I may have been the only kid to ever associate balloons with that strange feeling I would always get in my gut when I would let go of a balloon only to watch it soar away into nothingness. It was a true feeling of loss on my part. A strange, instinctual feeling in the pit of my stomach as my little fingers suddenly allowed the ribboned tail to slide up and away as the balloon strained to reach what seemed to be its true destination. Up. Always up.

That feeling has always had a larger and more bracing cousin that has stalked me my whole life. It’s name is Change. And while Change has no eye-catching color or strange outer-surface that makes high-pitched fart sounds when you rub it the right way, it still has that undeniable pull forward (or up in the balloon’s case.) That same feeling thrust upon me as I let go of those balloons is still present anytime a big change has suddenly made itself known. And while I do like Arby’s and Barack Obama, I’m not Change’s biggest fan when it comes down to my own life. I tend to like things the way they are. To stay grounded. Always grounded.

Despite all my kicking and screaming, I’m being pulled into the “real world.” And I’m not talking about a reality show populated by stereotyped social-infants that has outgrown its welcome on a music television station that has nothing to do with music anymore. No, this is much worse. Or is it? I’m not so sure anymore.

When I look back on my time in college, I see how much I have changed. The key lesson one can learn in college is the ability to think for themselves. If you graduate and still haven’t reached this point, ask for your money back. Seriously. Walking into college, I was a static Christian and, in turn, a static human being. I lived under the authority of religious rules and regulations, laughed at people who thought different than me, and believed a “Christian Democrat” to be an oxy-moron. I’m walking out a follower of Jesus who embraces love and mercy over anything else, who believes God takes delight in diversity of thought, and find it ridiculous for anyone to claim a “right” and “wrong” side in politics. I believe I’m a better person for it.

So maybe change isn’t so bad after all. Maybe the only way to progress is to be open to change. Whether it’s a job or a home. An individual or an entire country. A relationship with people or a relationship with God. So when that deep feeling in the bottom of my stomach reminds me of what I have to let go of I can’t be afraid. The next balloon may not necessarily be bigger or prettier. But it will be a different one. And hopefully, the next time I must let go of another balloon, I’ll be a different man. Always living. Always loving. Always changing.

Clarity Prevails.

...And Straighter...

2007-11-12T17:52:00.000-08:00

What is salvation?
What is grace?
What do we have to do to get it?

In the Old Testament, God's chosen people are constantly and consistently disobeying him. God knows that another plan must be put into action. This passage in Jeremiah is considered by many scholars to be one of the most important in the Old Testament. In this passage, God is talking about this new way of doing things that he promises will one day come through Jesus Christ.

"The time is coming," declares the Lord,
"when I will make a new covenant
with the house of Israel
and with the house of Judah.
It will not be like the covenant
I made with their forefathers
when I took them by the hand
to lead them out of Egypt,
because they broke my covenant,
though I was a husband to them,"
declares the Lord.

"This is the covenant I will make
with the house of Israel
after that time," declares the Lord.
"I will put my law in their minds
and write it on their hearts.
I will be their God,
and they will be my people.
No longer will a man teach his neighbor,
or a man his brother, saying,
"Know the Lord,"
because they will all know me
from the least of them to the greatest,"
declares the Lord.
"For I will forgive their wickedness
and will remember their sins no more."
~ Jeremiah 31:31-34

Go back and read that again.

So what is salvation?
So what is grace?
What do we have to do to get it?

"No one tears a patch from a new garment and sews it on an old one. If he does, he will have torn the new garment, and the patch from the new will not match the old. And no one pours new wine into old wineskins. If he does, the new wine will burst the skins, the wine will run out and the wineskins will be ruined."
~ Jesus, Luke 5:36-37

As Christians, we still need to be re-thinking some things.

Clarity Prevails.

Getting Some Things Straight

2007-10-15T13:00:00.000-07:00

What is grace?
Is grace free?
If grace is free, why do we have to do certain things to get it?
Is grace a gift?
If grace is a gift, why do we have to ask to receive it?

What is salvation?
Is it salvation from the after-life or from this life?
What matters more? The after-life or this life?
At what point does this human idea of the "age of accountability" kick in exactly?

Why did Jonah get angry when all of Ninevah turned to God?
Why did the workers who were thought to be paid unfairly in Jesus' parable become angry?
Why were the pharisees angry when Jesus had fellowship with the worst of society?
Why does the idea of God saving a non-Christian make us angry?

Why do we trust more in human propositions than God's justice?

Clarity Prevails.

The High Note

2007-06-12T18:21:00.000-07:00

I'm Currently Listening To: The Weepies - Say I Am You

I'm Currently Reading: Sex God - Exploring the Endless Connections Between Sexuality and Spirituality by Rob Bell

The last time I was so excited about a Series Finale was two years ago, when the final episode of Six Feet Under aired. My expectations were blown out of the water as I sat down with two of my friends (also devoted fans) and spent the last time we could with the Fishers. I believe that Six Feet Under's final episode is a work of pure and utter genius to the point where I will proudly claim that I believe it to be the single greatest ending to any show ever created. Yes, that is a high claim and if you want to dispute it, I will fight you.

At the end of that episode, what transpired was so moving and perfect that it, I believe, was the first time I've ever gotten teary-eyed (that's macho-speak for "flat-out crying") amongst other males. While the final credits rolled, we all sat in silence for a long time because we actually had to collect ourselves. Now, if you have seen the final moments of that episode, I think you will completely understand what I am talking about. It took a television show (albeit also a great work of art that revolves around death) to finally get me to face my own mortality. I always knew in theory that I would die someday. But after that episode, suddenly I knew I was going to die someday as well as everyone I come into contact with. Simply put, the finale of the show left me as speechless as I've ever been.

Fast forward two years and swing from California to New Jersey and we now have the final Sopranos episode...

***Everything after this point contains spoilers to the Sopranos Series Finale. Proceed at your own risk.

First, we all need to understand the context in which the Sopranos is so culturally significant. Series creator David Chase was the first television writer who had the balls to wonder why television can't be smart and intelligent and actually artistic. Because of this and HBO's willingness to try something new, we were given many years of one of the greatest television shows (and works of art) ever created. From the first episode, this was not your normal drama. For a good reason, the show has one of the most devoted fan bases in television history. This fact alone let me know that by the end of Sunday night, no matter what happened, people were going to be pissed.

The final minutes of the series is a simple scene in which Tony is meeting his family at a diner that we've never seen. He picks Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" on the jukebox and as the song plays, his family begins to arrive. While they arrive, every person who walks in seems to have something ominous about them. You are expecting each person to suddenly whip out a gun and finally "wack" Tony. But it doesn't happen. Tony looks up to see his daughter, Meadow, walk through the diner door and the series comes to an abrupt halt.

My first reaction was mixed. I didn't know whether or not I was pissed or thought it was genius. It didn't take long for me to opt for genius. My reaction to this ending was completely different to the ending of Six Feet Under. Two years ago, I sat in silence. Two years later, I sit while my brain does a complete overhaul. Yes, it was ambiguous. Yes, it wasn't tidy. But, many people are forgetting one thing. This is the Sopranos. And this has always been how they operate.

Once again, the final scene is open to many interpretations. Some believe the sudden cut to black was Tony finally getting killed, as in previous episodes death was described as total abrupt blackness. Hey, that theory works. But I don't hold it. I think Tony is alive, but by no means well. That final scene echoed the rest of Tony's life. Yes, he still has his family. But he lives in guilt even when he is with them. Because of his own doing, he lives in fear for himself and his family even at a simple night out. He is constantly having to look over his shoulder to make sure no one is about to hurt them. That final scene is Tony's personal living hell. It is supported to the two scenes that follow it, one in which Tony goes to see his friend, Sylvio, on life support from gunshot wounds and the next where he visits his Uncle Junior whose mind has wasted away due to his own guilt, fear and hatred coming to get the best of him. If the final scene echoes where Tony is now. The previous two echo where he will end up. His sins will be constant companions the rest of his life. And Tony knows it.

This is what the Sopranos has always been about. Many were upset because "nothing happened" at the end. But it was never about that. It wasn't about the mob. It wasn't about getting wacked. It wasn't about violence or family. It's not about the surface and what happens. It's about what's underneath and what it all means. It's about guilt, pain, selfishness, and redemption that will never be gained. And it's the perfect ending to a family that, like everyone's, is anything but.

Clarity Prevails.

Devil in a Blue Cardigan

2007-05-18T20:35:00.000-07:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Derek Webb - The Ringing Bell

I just watched this show called "What Not to Wear" which is apparently very popular. In a time where entertainment is criticized for having sex, violence and language, I think it is shows like these which are the real danger to society. As a human being, I understand there are some people who do not look like society would rather them look. Hell, I'm probably one of them.

However, it's sad that shows like this are so prevalent and so popular. Forgive me for being so old fashioned as to think that what makes a person is who they are, not what they wear. The dogma of these shows is that if you look better to others, you will become a better person because of better self-confidence.

That's the sad part. Since when did we decide that self-confidence comes from our appearance? Last time I checked, it came from a man who died on a cross for a world full of people so depraved of sin that they are ugly as hell no matter what they picked out that morning.

Clarity Prevails.

What Kind of God Do We Serve Here?

2007-03-29T12:46:00.000-07:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Modest Mouse - We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank

I'm Currently Watching: Dead Like Me - The Complete First Season

I haven't posted on here for awhile because my writing times have been devoted to something else for now. But, I've seen something that has prompted me into blogger action here. There is a "note" circulating around Facebook that is making some pretty bold claims about God.

Apparently, he is a prideful and egotistical murderer.

At least, that's what I got from this note which states that God is responsible for killing a list of famous people because they happened to say something bad about him at one time. It even goes so far as to implicate the Lord in the sinking of the Titanic, killing over 1,000 men, women and children, all because the maker of the Titanic said God couldn't even sink it.

Are you freaking kidding me?

Apparently, God is a middle school kid who gets angry when someone on the monkey bars says something mean about him. But, instead of tattling, he kills them

For one thing, I could do some research and find just as many names of people who proclaimed their love of God who also died horrible deaths. Hell, I'll even take out the ones who were martyrs for their faith.

Is this the God that these people know? Did God in human form kill people because they said something bad about him? No, he didn't. Although, if he did there sure would be a lot of dead pharisees in the New Testament. No, he didn't kill anyone or harm anyone. He let himself be killed. And this is how we carry on his name?

This is freaking shameful.

I'm so glad this is circulating Facebook, something that millions of people worldwide participate in. Wow, what a great evangelistic tool.

"If you don't love God, he'll pop a cap in your ass."

Clarity Prevails.

In Conjunction...

2007-03-10T12:37:00.000-08:00

Sam was walking to the park and he came across a little dog whose name was Vengeance. He put up signs all over town to find out one thing...

...Whose Vengeance was.

Clarity Prevails.

This Entry Has No Twist Ending

2007-02-20T07:43:00.000-08:00

I'm Currently Listening To: The Wallflowers - Rebel, Sweetheart

I'm Currently Reading: Dark Night of the Soul by St. John of the Cross

I watched this movie, The Last Kiss, that most people I know saw and didn't like. I think the trailer for the movie made it look like a sweet romantic comedy and everybody thought it was going to be the next Garden State because Zach Braff was in it. Anyway, I think people were disappointed when this turned out to not be true. Because it certainly is not a sweet romantic comedy, it's a pretty hardcore drama about twenty-something relationships. I really liked it. There is a quote from the movie that stood out to me that goes along with my "Love Problem" entry, albeit it's the romantic love being talked about. It comes from Zach Braff's girlfriend's father (played by the great Tom Wilkinson) talking to Braff.

"Stop talking about love. Every asshole in the world says he loves somebody. It means nothing. Even if it's true, it doesn't mean anything. What you feel only matters to you. It's what you do to the people you say you love. That's the only thing that counts."

I also watched The Illusionist. It was alright. The cinematography was very very good. But the story was extremely predictable. I figured out exactly what was going to happen about thirty minutes into the movie. Twists in movies aren't even original anymore. Everybody tries to put them into movies now. The worst thing about it is that the studio wants you to know that there is a twist in the movie which is so stupid. They will tell you there is one in the trailer. If you know a twist is coming, is it really a twist? That's why The Sixth Sense and Fight Club (the movies that started this whole twist fad) had such excellent twists. You weren't waiting for one. They both came out of nowhere and it was awesome.

I like to put peaches in my pants and dance around until my knees bleed.

See? You didn't see that ending coming did you?

Clarity Prevails.

Into the Mystic

2007-02-16T12:29:00.000-08:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Count Zero - Little Minds

After writing that last blog entry, I came across this:

Ephesians 5:1-2 "Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us.

His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn't love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us.

Love like that."

Amen, Paulos.

This is off subject but I've also been thinking a lot about the debate between Calvanism and Armeniasm. Why do we not believe there is a possibility that both may be correct? Some would say that the two are mutually exclusive but so what? So is the idea of someone being both fully human and fully God. So is the idea that God is one but also three at the same time. Don't be scared of mysticism folks. If you're a Christian, you're a mystic. Embrace it. We believe in the impossible every day. All I know is the next time some freshman BSM student who wears socks and sandals asks me whether or not I'm a Calvanist or an Armeniast, I'm answering "Yes."

Clarity Prevails.

The Love Problem

2007-02-10T00:02:00.000-08:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Switchfoot - Oh! Gravity.

I'm Currently Reading: Setting Free the Bears by John Irving

I'm not entirely happy with what the concept of love has become. For starters, when you mention love, the first thing that comes to mind is some form of romantic love. There's are first problem. We love things because they make us feel good. Simple as that. That's what love has become. That's frightening. You love a band or a movie because it speaks to you in some way, makes you satisfied. When we fall "in love" with someone else, it's usually because they make us happy or feel good about ourselves. I hear this all the time, "Well, he/she makes him/her happy." So, that's the basis for a healthy and good relationship these days? Is it not insane to anyone else that there are people getting married based on the simple fact that their significant other makes them feel all warm and fuzzy inside? If you are getting married, it should be because you care so much about the other person that you want to constantly do what's right and good for them instead of yourself. Always. And you know what? Sometimes that means not getting married.

Christ loved deeply and purely. And what did he do? He died. He didn't stay around and keep living so he could be worshiped and made to feel all good inside by us. He died. So, what is love? One thing I am sure of is that it is completely selfless. It's not about how it makes you feel. It's dying again and again and again because that is who we are now and that is the kind of love which we serve.

It seems like we have too many things and people to live for instead of to die for.

Clarity Prevails.

L Words

2006-12-06T05:25:00.000-08:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Keane - Under the Iron Sea

In honor of my poorness, this year for Christmas I am making everyone mix CDs. No, not individual ones for everyone. Like I'm gonna make one for Jarrid that has Dixie Chick songs and the soundtrack to Full Metal Jacket. No, I don't have that much time on my hands. I just thought it would be a good idea. And my taste in music rules and everyone else's is horrible so I thought I could not only provide a fine gift, but along the way drop some science on you musically uneducated fools.

Anyway, I don't have the capacity to make one for everyone, so if you find your interest burning, then let me know. However, also get yourself checked out because you might have Herpes.

You may find yourself asking, "Why is Michael writing at 6:00 in the morning?" Well, first, mind your own business. Secondly, I'm back on the weird sleeping habits. No, not the one where I was sleeping at the foot of Milhouse's bed. This really just pertains to the times in which I sleep. They are erratic (no Cody, not erotic). Hence, me being up at 6:00 just waiting for my first class at 9:00.

Now, to get down to the nitty and the gritty. The reason you are all here, if you will...

I got a weird call yesterday from an ex-girlfriend who wanted "to talk." And this is a girl from waaaay back. I've always been one to be afraid of exes. I'm fine with them while dating, but then once it ends, in most cases I develop a quick fear of them. This goes both for girls I dumped and for those who dumped me. I have a recurring nightmare in which I walk into a room and all my ex-girlfriends are there talking about how I'm such an insecure manchild.

Anyway, she wanted to talk about "what went wrong" with us. This immediately caused me to shut down. What did she mean, "What went wrong?" We were teenagers, that's what went wrong. I've had better relationships with sharpie markers than I did in high school. Anyway, she told me she never understood why she didn't "fall in love" with me. For those of you who know me, the L word freaks me out just about as much as snowmen. And while I can completely understand why this particular mystery baffles her, I'm starting to really want to get off the phone with this person who has obviously gone insane since the last time we had contact.

Finally, she gets to her point. She wanted to apologize to me for "hurting me." Which, really she didn't and I tried to explain that to her. But, before I could she dropped the bomb...

"I'm gay."

........

..............

.....................

Now. The conversation became much more interesting after this point. It turned out to be a very good conversation. She knew my particular field of study in school and she wanted to know what I thought about it. I handled myself well. I was honest about what I believed but, in no way, an ass about it. I really did feel good about the conversation we had and how we left it.

However. After getting off the phone, I started freaking out. I mean, I did not see this coming. She was always a real girly-girl and very pretty. I mean, I know that there are many gay women out there who are very attractive, and hey, those are my favorite kinds. But, I guess I'm a bit more prejudiced to this than I thought and never actually thought I would meet one. Anyway, I kind of freaked out, thinking there was something I did that made this girl go, "Wow. Men suck so much, I'm completely abandoning them." I'm hoping I had nothing to do with it, because I remember the guy she dated after me was a world class pottser.

I don't know what I've learned from this yet, but when I find out I'll let you know. I would have to imagine, however, the old "Ha ha, Michael dumped a girl on the internet once." will now be replaced with, "Ha ha, Michael made a girl question her sexuality once."

I have a storied existence.

Clarity Prevails.

Fort Awesome Retrospective

2006-11-28T23:42:00.000-08:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Imogen Heap - Speak for Yourself

I'm going to take a moment to talk about how much I love my house here in Abilene. Yeah, the house itself rocks the foundation of all that is living arrangements, it is simply one of the coolest college houses anywhere. But, the reason the house reaches such heights of greatness is the people in it. We rock. Anytime we go out, I always point out that we are always having more fun than anyone else around us. I never laugh as hard as I do than when I'm with the guys. And it's like when we are together, our powers of comedy grow to epic proportions. I mean, we are funny. I am convinced we could make huge sums of money writing a television show. We come up with the most genius of things while riffing off one another. We have this Weird Al joke that I'm not even going to try and describe. But, it constantly changes with every telling of it and, I think, cements our genius in history.

Some people just think we are easily amused. (Some people are named Abby.) And that could possibly be it. But, I do know that when I'm old, Sean is older, Cody is dead, and Milhouse is gay, I will miss the laughter.

Have you heard of Josh Ritter? He's one my new favorite singer/songwriters (one of his songs was my last post) and this is one of my favorite lyrics from one of his songs about war, called "Thin Blue Flame."

Now the dogs are howling at our door
Singing 'bout vengeance like it's the joy of the Lord
Bringing justice to the enemies, not the other way around
They're guilty when killed and they're killed where they're found
If what's loosed on earth will be loosed up on high
It's a Hell of a Heaven we must go to when we die

It gives me chills.

Clarity Prevails.

Girl in the War

2006-11-19T12:09:00.000-08:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Josh Ritter - The Animal Years

Peter said to Paul,
"All those words that we wrote
Are just rules of the game and the rules are the first to go"
But now talkin' to God is Laurel beggin' Hardy for a gun
I gotta girl in the war, man, I wonder what it is we done

Paul said to Petey,
"You gotta rock yourself a little harder
Pretend the dove from above is a dragon and your feet are on fire"
And I got a girl in the war, Paul, the only thing I know to do
Is turn up the music and pray that she makes it through

Because the keys to the kingdom got locked inside the kingdom
And the angels fly around in there, but we can't see them
And I got a girl in the war, Paul, I know that they can hear me yell
If they can't find a way to help her, they can go to hell

Paul said to Petey,
"You gotta rock yourself a little harder
Pretend the dove from above is a dragon and your feet are on fire"
But I got a girl in the war, Paul, her eyes are like champagne
They sparkle, bubble over, in the morning all you got is rain

Clarity Prevails.

Addendum

2006-11-13T17:55:00.000-08:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Elliott Smith - Elliott Smith

I've gotten different types of reception to my last blog entry. Most of it was positive, however, I did get an anonymous comment that said, "I am so pissed at you right now." I deleted it, because I don't quite understand a person making such a claim anonymously. What do you want me to do about it? I would try and make things right with you if I knew who you were. So, either, it's just a joke or someone really is pissed at me. If it's the latter, I would be happy to talk with you and I guess thank you for proving my point. If you would be so kind as to show yourself, that is.

In some way, I can understand if your feathers were ruffled a little bit by the last post. I, actually, would take that as a compliment. I think it's good for Christ's people to get upset about criticism, because usually it means you know there's truth to it. For instance, I would not get upset if some one's blog said, "Jesus was an elephant." because that's simply not true, as we all, hopefully, know.

I do understand that the post was written with a level of sarcasm that many of you may have not appreciated. If you took my tone wrong, I truly do apologize. However, this is what I believe. In fact, I don't quite understand someone getting upset with me for proclaiming love and God's power above anything else. Unless, you actually do believe a political party is above God, I don't quite understand your anger with me.

In Matthew 22:21, Jesus tells his disciples to "Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar's; and to God the things that are God's." So, what is God's? Everything is God's. Jesus is saying that when you realize everything in life, including Caesar's power and possessions, are God's, then your heart will be in the right place to offer Caesar what is Caesar's. We, then, can render for God's sake. And even, now, we must continue to render for God's sake. I believe that means a lot of things for us and one of them is to vote for God's sake, not for a political party's sake. In Christ, there is no hate. In a political party, there is a lot of it.

1 Peter 2:16 says, "Live as free people, not using your freedom as a cloak of evil, but being servants of God." Those of us in Christ are not servants of any political party, we are servants of God. The thing is, both Republicans and Democrats have Christians within their ranks. For the most part, there is a lot of hatred between them. I have even heard a Republican once say that a Christian Democrat is an impossibility. I'm sorry, but I think that is profoundly stupid. The funny thing is, if Christian Republicans and Christian Democrats could come together through there unity in Christ, a lot could get done for America. Most importantly, however, I think a lot could get done for the Kingdom of God. We all have different ideas about an infinite amount of things. We can't let those things come in the way of our unity in Christ. Trust me, I understand that is easier said than done, but Christ is kind of known for making things easier said done.

Clarity Prevails.

Big Freaking Soapbox

2006-11-10T15:53:00.000-08:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Sufjan Stevens - Seven Swans

I am sick and tired of politics. You wanna know what America's biggest two idols are? The Republican party and the Democratic party. Choose your idol, my fellow Americans. Bow down before them, accept everything the particular party believes as absolute truth, because where else are you going to get it?

Oh yeah, Jesus. Well, we kind of forgot about him what with America going on and all.

It absolutely sickens me to see Christ come down to this earth and introduce to us something he called the Kingdom of God and what have we done with this notion of living? Thrown it out. Screw it. It doesn't fit into my little republican box. It doesn't quite cover everything democrats tell me to believe.

The simple fact is that Jesus was no Republican. Nor was he a Democrat. The simple fact is that if you even look at what living in the Kingdom of God is, you find something that sometimes Republicans get wrong and Democrats get wrong.

Wait a second, Michael, back up. Are you saying that Republicans aren't right about everything?! Surely, this can't be. And you expect me to believe that Democrats are actually right on the money about some things?! Surely, not! Democrats are an evil and Godless people. Why did you not know that God isn't even on their side? He's on the side of the Republicans!

God is a Republican.

Look at the absolute ridiculousness of the above statement.

God is God.

I was brought up believing that everytime I saw someone on the news with the letter D next to their name, that meant they were a bad person. How horrible is that? What's even more horrible is people still do it. Democrat is bad. Republican is good. Or vica-verse.

It's sickening.

We have at our feet this way of living, this life that has been given to us through God himself in human form. But, what's more important? Abortion & gay marriage or the true life lived by a follower of Christ. The sad thing is I know the answer for most people.

You look at the Sermon on the Mount, which is Jesus being as straight forward as he can, about what it means to live in the Kingdom of God. If you read it, there are some aspects where Republicans are the people for the job. However, there are also many parts which Democrats fight for. Both. Not just one or the other.

And at the same time, there are things both parties fight for that completely deny Christ's words. I think most Democrats have the wrong idea about abortion. But, you know what I don't quite understand? Republicans marching in picket lines talking about how God is the only one allowed to take life, then go and promote the death penalty as much as they do.

According to Christ,
Republicans are idiots about some things.
Democrats are idiots about some things.
Republicans are right about some things.
Democrats are right about some things.

Stop demonizing other people that God cares for and loves just as much as you. Stop hating and promoting hate because of a generalization you make. We all mean good and we all want good. Get over your petty squabbles and love one another. Do you know how stupid Jesus would think it would be to even suggest that God belongs to one side and not the other. The only thing any of us can boast is Christ. That's it.

Forget about what party you "belong" to. Stop making your political ideologies into idols. Sometimes that means having to be a republican. Sometimes that means having to be a democrat. Jesus didn't deal much in absolutes with people while on this earth.

I have to believe we, as the Church, can do better than this. I have to. Because I have faith in Christ and the work he began here with us. Not faith in a political party.

He didn't come to make republicans out of us. He didn't come to make us into democrats. He came to make us into the continuing embodiment of Christ on this earth. Act like it.

Clarity Prevails.

Louder Than the Asians

2006-10-28T16:00:00.000-07:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Sufjan Stevens - The Avalanche

There is this praise song called Louder Than the Angels and I don't like it. It just seems rude. I mean, come on, the angels are already probably ticked that we got souls and free will and they didn't. We now have to challenge their noise level in praising? I mean, it's just like saying, I sing louder than African Americans. We're singling out a people group. Angels are a people-group, too ya know. Albeit a spiritual one. Plus, grouping them all together as just "angels" also is kind of racist (spiritual bodiest???). It's like grouping Koreans and Vietnamese and Chinese all together and calling them all Asian. So come on, give the angels a break.

This whole "friends getting married" thing is getting out of hand. Now, one of my girl friends is getting married. That's a whole new different can of weird. I always knew my guy friends were going to get married. For some reason, it never occurred to me that any of my girl friends would get married. Strange.

Today at the football game, an older man was sitting behind us and yelled at the ref, "You're on drugs and not good ones!!!" It's me new favorite thing to yell at a sporting event. That and "Go Nomar!" (in a thick Boston accent) and "Yo Affleck, you da bomb in Phantoms, yo!" The latter is still my favorite.

Sufjan Stevens is a genius.

Clarity Prevails.

The Great Gordo Wedding

2006-10-17T14:14:00.000-07:00

I'm Currently Listening To: JET - Shine On

Well, the first of my best friends is dead... I mean married. The whole weekend was so much fun. I finally get the whole groomsmen thing. We were all laughing so hard and having such a good time right before we went out into the sanctuary. You need those guys there, man. It's almost like you get your close friends together and it solidifies who you are as a person before you get married. It tends to make things stable. I know I'll need it at my wedding, because I'm not going to lie, I'm going to want to get the hell out of there. I think I'll be fine once the ceremony starts, but that morning is going to be interesting. I'm going to be freaking out.

Anyway, the wedding was beautiful and the reception was a lot of fun. Who knew it only takes one small glass of wine to get me on a dance floor. Oh yeah, and I ended up catching the garter but I think Gordo may have rigged it. I'm gonna need some tape on that. I'm not gonna lie, I did get kind of emotional. But like I said, this was my first wedding of a best friend and that crap kinda sneaks up on you. Gordo and I dealt with it by calling each other fags a couple of times. That helped. I'm also just really glad he married such an awesome person. I love Ashley and all my other friends now have to bring someone home that lives up to her. Challenge extended.

Clarity Prevails.

Me & #34

2006-10-07T21:02:00.000-07:00

I'm Currently Listening To: The Killers - Sam's Town

I pulled into the Wal-Mart gas station here in Big Abilene yesterday. After waiting a very long time for the person in front of me to get done, I finally pulled in. The man getting gas next to me began to look strangely familiar to me. When I realized who he looked like, it just solidified in my mind that it was actually him, yet I was still unsure. I would not have gotten the nerve to speak to him had he not spoken to me first.

"You didn't think those people were ever gonna leave, did ya?"
"No sir, I didn't."

I finally decide to just go for it.

"Excuse me, sir. Are you Nolan Ryan?"
"Sure am."

That's when I crapped myself in front of Nolan Ryan.

Clarity Prevails.

Ishmaels & Isaacs

2006-10-02T14:10:00.000-07:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Fielding - Fielding

I'm Currently Reading: Everyday Apocalypse - The Sacred Revealed in Radiohead, the Simpsons and Other Pop Culture Icons by David Dark

You know, in Genesis, where God promises Abraham a son to father the nations (Isaac) and Abe doesn't quite believe him so he fathers a son with Hagar anyway (Ishmael)? Abraham asks God if Ishmael could be the one God uses. God says nope, it's going to be the son I promised to you. Later Isaac was miraculously born. It's a great story of trying to achieve things that God has promised us on our own.

Well, my Ishmael has passed. Now I'm just waiting for my Isaac. And I'm at peace.

Not that I've fathered any children. It's a metaphor.

Clarity Prevails.

Oh My God

2006-09-20T13:40:00.000-07:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Jars of Clay - Good Monsters

Oh my God, look around this place
Fingers reach around the bone
You set the break and set the tone
Flights of grace and future falls
In present pain
All fools say, "Oh my God"

Oh my God, why are we so afraid?
We make it worse when we don't bleed
There is no cure for our disease
Turn a phrase and rise again
Or fake your death and only tell your closest friends
Oh my God

Oh my God, can I complain?
You take away my firm belief
And graft my soul upon Your grief
Weddings, boats and alibis
All drift away and a mother cries

Liars and fools, sons and failures
Thieves will always say...
Lost and found, ailing wanderers
Healers always say...
Whores and angels, men with problems
Leavers always say...
Broken-hearted, separated
Orphans always say...
War creators, racial haters
Preachers always say...
Distant fathers, fallen warriors
Givers always say...
Pilgrim saints, lonely widows
Users always say...
Fearful mothers, watchful doubters
Saviors always say...

Sometimes I cannot forgive
And these days mercy cuts so deep
If the world was how it should be
Maybe I could get some sleep
While I lay, I dream we're better
Scales were gone and faces lighter
When we wake, we hate our brother
We still move to hurt each other

Sometimes I can close my eyes
And all the fear that keeps me silent
Falls below my heavy breathing
What makes me so badly bent?
We all have a chance to murder
We all feel the need for wonder
We still want to be reminded
That the pain is worth the thunder

Sometimes when I lose my grip
I wonder what to make of Heaven
All the times I thought to reach up
All the times I had to give
Babies underneath their beds
Hospitals that cannot treat
All the wounds that money causes
All the comforts of cathedrals
All the cries of thirsty children
This is our inheritance
All the rage of watching mothers
This is our greatest offense

Oh my God...
Oh my God...
Oh my God...

Clarity Prevails.

Lessons

2006-09-13T16:36:00.000-07:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Tom Petty - Highway Companion

I'm Currently Watching: The Fifth Element

I've realized that I tend to crush on girls whom I think are difficult to please. Not that they are difficult to please, at least I think they are. Well, at least not by me. It's like I look around and say, okay, which girl here would it be incredibly hard to have a relationship with and I fall for her. I wonder if this is how God feels.

Let's say God made a million different varieties of intelligent life to put on the earth in the beginning and had to choose one. Let's say he could have chosen a race of beings who would have worshipped and loved him from the beginning. But he didn't. He looked at them and said, "Not good enough." Then he looked at this one race who were a selfish and hateful people. And he chose us. Because despite knowing how hard it was going to be to have a relationship with these people, he just had to. He loved them.

Anyway, this is what came out of my mind the other night while I was thinking about myself. It was kind of nice to be thinking about my own problems with girls and then have it be thrust over to God, instead. God works so seamlessly sometimes that I don't even notice he is speaking until it's over.

I was sitting there and I asked God, "Did you just teach me a lesson?" And I swear I heard this gentle little voice in my head say, "I don't know. Did I?"

Clarity Prevails.

Things That Make My Head Explode

2006-09-08T11:19:00.000-07:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Jars of Clay - Good Monsters
I'm Currently Watching: Angel - The Complete Fifth Season

Some girl I didn't know was trying to get my attention in class and she called out to me, "Red shirt." This really ticked me off. I don't think anybody wants to be relegated down to the color of their shirt. Ever. I told her my friends call me Michael and then for the rest of class, proceeded to call everyone by the color of their shirt. She was not pleased. I don't remember what her name is. I think it's Green Shirt...

The other day, I was invading everyone's privacy by looking at their Facebook pages. (By the way, get the crap over the news feed. What do you think Facebook is? A confidential file that no one can see but you? Facebook is just another form of self-propaganda, isn't it? Don't act like you don't enjoy letting people know what you are doing, that's one reason Facebook is so appealing to us. Little Francine wants people to know she is now single, so she can get some tail. That's right, tail! Tell me I'm wrong.) Anyway, I was looking the page of a sweet little younger girl I knew in high school and I saw that she was married. This did enough to make my head ache a little. But what made it explode? I looked at her pictures of the wedding, look down, and "Hello, Sweet Little Younger and Impregnated Girl I Knew from High School!" It seriously jacked me up.

And the news feed did not tell me that so-and-so was impregnated, so can it really be all that bad?

Clarity Prevails.

R.I.P. Steve Irwin February 22, 1962 - September 4, 2006

2006-09-04T11:18:00.000-07:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Red Hot Chili Peppers - Stadium Arcadium

Who knew it would be a stingray that did him in?

I always figured it would be a crocodile....

At least it wasn't a chipmunk or something gay like that.

Not that a chipmunk's sexual preference has anything to do with it.

I mean, I'm not saying that there are an abundance of gay chipmunks or anything.

I apologize if I have offended any homosexual chipmunk's. In no way did I mean to be derogatory. Please accept my apology.

Well, they do like nuts a little unusually more than most other mammals....

Clarity Prevails.

Wrestling with Mystery

2006-08-31T15:18:00.000-07:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Caedmon's Call - Caedmon's Call
I'm Currently Watching: The West Wing - The Complete Sixth Season

I've been thinking about those tough questions about God and our faith that we don't like asking. The questions that simply do not have answers in scripture. And there are a lot of them. Despite what many Christians tell non-Christians, the Bible is most certainly not an "Answer book" or a manual of some kind. Why didn't God do that? Why didn't he form the Bible to be a question-and-answer book? I think there was a reason he did it that way. The Bible is like the Matrix Trilogy. The creators of those films angered many people with those last two films in the series because they chose not to explain many aspects of the movies. They did this for a reason. They wanted people to think and debate and converse with one another about different aspects and come to their own conclusions about things through dialogue. I think God does the same thing with scripture. He wants us to be actively involved in it for the rest of our lives. Be in relationship with him through it And you can't be in relationship with something if it doesn't perplex you a little bit.

I think it's the same reason Jesus lived so ambiguously, never spelling things out for anyone. Wanting us to seek the answer out, to dig for the meaning behind the words. To grapple and wrestle with it, like Jacob wrestling with the stranger at the river side. To question and ask why, not just blindly accept it and move on.

These questions and struggles we have about God and our faith are good things. They help us to continue to seek God and to know his heart better and better. I say heart for a reason. Because we won't necessarily get answers to some of our questions while we are living this life. But, as we converse with God, we have access to his heart. We may not get the whole picture of something, but a little glimpse of what God is doing. And those little glimpses mean the world while we are here.

While the Israelites were in the wilderness, they constantly complained about their situation. They wanted to get to the promised land and be done with it. They wanted their relationship with God to be culminated quick, here and now. Well, it doesn't work that way. In the same way, many of us want all the answers to everything right now. That's why so many of us set up our beliefs and stick to them for the rest of our lives, never challenging them or letting God show us something different. We want that part to be over and done with. Well, it doesn't work that way. We are not to the promised land yet. We are still in the wilderness. And we need to learn how to embrace it.

So question it.
Wrestle with it.
Open your mind so God can shape you daily.
And hey, have fun.

"Being a Christian is more about relationship with God than beliefs about God; more about the presence of God than the proofs of God; more about intimacy with truth than the tenets of truths; more about knowing God's activities than knowing God's attributes. It is time to move from a religion that seeks to comprehend God to a relationship that seeks to encounter and be a home for God - to move from points and propositions and moralisms to mystery and paradox and participation in the divine life." ~ Leonard Sweet

Clarity Prevails.

A Hill of Bricks and What Amounts To It

2006-08-27T14:16:00.000-07:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Bruce Springsteen - Greetings from Asbury Park, N.J.

I'm Currently Watching: Angel - The Complete Fourth Season

I'm Currently Reading: The Divine Conspiracy - Rediscovering Our Hidden Life in God by Dallas Willard

Milhouse and I went to get fitted for tuxedos yesterday. Milhouse wanted to tell them it was our wedding.

I highly, highly recommend a little film called Brick. It is greatness, one of the best films I've seen in a long time. It's pretty much film noir set in a modern day high school. But it's almost like it's an alternate universe, because even the dialogue is noirish (that's not a word, but I don't care.) Anyway, it really is a great movie. Watch it.

I also watched Poseidon and man, does that movie suck. Wow. Bad. Richard Dreyfuss is in it and he's so old! I don't like old Richard Dreyfuss, it's really freaking sad. I want to always remember him as Matt Hooper from Jaws, not a crusty old man with a B-part in a crappy movie.

Chapel is going to freaking rock this semester. That's right, I said it. Under the leadership of our new chaplain, Dr. Pigott, we only have to go once a week and the credits roll over from semester to semester. But, also we actually get great speakers this semester too. Chris Seay is doing our Cornerstone Series and Tony Campolo is speaking in November. I never thought I would say this, but I'm actually excited about chapel.

Clarity Prevails.

Hot Sports Opinions & Other Quick Hits

2006-08-21T21:11:00.000-07:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Five for Fighting - Two Lights

I'm Currently Watching: Angel - The Complete Third Season

I'm Currently Reading: Like a Splinter in Your Mind - The Philosophy Behind the Matrix Trilogy by Matt Lawrence

I've been to my first wedding involving a friend from high school. It was weird. Gordo's wedding is going to be that times a thousand.

The Cowboys are going to the Super Bowl this year. I will bet vital parts of my anatomy to this fact. And if I'm wrong, well, it's not like it's never happened before.

Apparently there is a book out there written by a genuine and authentic "sex slave" of Osama Bin Laden. In it, she talks about how Osama hated Bobby Brown and wanted to have him killed. It's weird that I can even find common ground with psychopaths...

Twinkies rule.

So does Joss Whedon.

I am uneasy and I'm not sure why. I feel like there is something big changing in my life and I can't quite see what it is. Whatever it is, it's making me feel uneasy with going forward. God has been teaching me a lot about control lately. I try and control every aspect of my life from school to work to girls to pretty much everything. I need to let a lot of it go. Like a big dump... Well, I ruined a perfectly nice moment there didn't I?

Clarity Prevails.

A Rabbi, a Pastor & an Imam Walk Into the Dallas Convention Center...

2006-08-17T21:11:00.000-07:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Andrew Osenga - The Morning

Tonight I attended a little get-together at the Dallas Convention Center which had a Muslim Imam, a Jewish Rabbi and a Christian Pastor on a panel discussing their faiths. First off, the convention center is huge. Blake and I got there and somehow ended up in a African-American revival meeting in a huge arena. I'm telling you, we were the ONLY white people there. And a Christian rapper named TruWord cornered me. Anyway, we fought our way through and finally made it to the small room this thing was being held in and met up with Disch there.

The program was awesome. A lot of good stuff was said from each point of view and I got a lot out of it. The experience was the best part, however. Just this small group of people coming together to try and understand and better know others of a different religion was so Christ-like. Coming together, not just to point out our differences, but our similarities. That there is some resounding truths that we can agree on. Like peace and love and the importance of it to our God.

My favorite part of the night and something I will remember for the rest of my life is this. The whole time, I was sitting by this obviously Muslim woman and I just wanted to make some kind of connection with her, just to bridge that gap. God totally gave she and I both one at the end. On our program sheets there was a prayer written jointly by the Rabbi, Imam, and Pastor for everyone to pray together. As soon as we started the prayer, I noticed that she did not have a program sheet with her. So, I not only got to share mine with her, but we prayed together off the same sheet. And in that instance, that quick little prayer - we were people. That's it. I wasn't Christian - she wasn't Muslim. We were two people wanting God to hear us. It didn't matter that she didn't believe Jesus was the son of God. It didn't matter that I didn't believe Mohammed was his one and only prophet. We came together in ideas that Christ lived for. Understanding. Peace. Love. This is the prayer we prayed together:

"To the One God who loves each of us as if He has no other to love, yet loves each of us the same; Help us to better claim that love within us that we might better understand and know how to love others and your creation."

God continues to show me how big He really is.

Clarity Prevails.

The Church of Truth

2006-08-12T13:05:00.000-07:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Jars of Clay - Mini Monsters

I'm Currently Watching: The X Files - The Complete Fourth Season

I'm Currently Reading: Velvet Elvis - Repainting the Christian Faith by Rob Bell

In a week, I'll be done here for the summer. Yeah, I'm glad to be going back to what I consider my home in Abilene, but this has been one awesome summer. I've been thinking a lot about what "church" is to me. This summer, it's been you.. and me... and me and you. It's all of us. Together. Many together at once. Two together. The closest I've felt to God this summer was when it was just me and someone else, whether it be a friend, a "sister", or a student... just talking. About struggles, about pain, about the future, about God. When I sat with these people and talked and we presented our hearts to one another without shame, that place became sacred. Maybe that's what sacredness is. Truth. Not the kind of truth like 1+1=2. The truth that is evasive in us, yet ever-present. The truth of relationship. With people. With God. It's reminded me that God not just loves us for who we are, He likes us for who we are. We don't need to pretend we are something we aren't with God or anyone else for that matter. Christ didn't make the pharisees his disciples, he made fisherman and tax collectors his disciples. The guys others said weren't good enough. But Christ saw them for who they were.

That's truth.

Who you are.

Who God is.

Together.

Be home soon.

Clarity Prevails.

Glenn Frey Was Right...

2006-07-17T12:53:00.000-07:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Johnny Cash - American II: Unchained

I'm Currently Reading: The Facts Behind the Helsinki Roccamatios by Yann Martel

Well, I just got back from California a couple days ago. Cory, Jake Page and I attended a Student Leadership Conference at Saddleback. For those of you who don't know, Saddleback is the church in Orange County whose pastor is Rick Warren (of Purpose Driven Life fame) and youth minister is Doug Fields (of Purpose Driven Youth Ministry fame)....

OK, I just had to go up to Williams Middle School to get Elyse Rimmer to sign her passport for the Mexico mission trip. It was really strange, it was a sea of stingerettes and I was the only guy in there. Anyway, I'm back now. Where was I? Oh yeah...

Saddleback was freaking amazing. It was so refreshing to see a church that is not driven by ego, agenda and power-struggles but by love and truth. It was awesome. I was beginning to lose faith that church can actually be like that. Saddleback helped me to see that is is possible and so I'm pumped once again about what I can one day be a part of.

And I might be a part of it in California because I totally fell in love with Orange County. It is the closest thing to perfection I have ever seen. Mountains, beaches, perfect weather. Awesome. I'm seriously considering going to seminary there. Los Angeles is freaking hot, though. Still cool. But hot. We went to L.A. for a day and went to Universal Studios in Hollywood. Of course, you people knowing me, I was going insane there. Especially on the Backlot Tour. They have stuff just laying around all over the place, much of which that would go unnoticed unless you are a movie nerd like me.

I guess, technically, I met two celebrities. If you are in youth ministry, Doug Fields is kind of a big one. He actually approached me and talked to me. It took me by surprise at first. But, I was very impressed with him. He wasn't all "generic youth minister", he was real down to earth and genuine. And I don't usually like mustaches, I generally think they make guys look like a stupid porn-star (and women's mustaches aren't any better) but Doug has one and he totally works that thing. It's awesome.

I also met Austin from this last season of Survivor. This was also weird, as I just looked up and he is standing right in front of me. It's weird when you meet people you've seen on television because the first thing that goes through your head is, "I know this person." So, I said, "Hey." The kind of "hey" that you give to a friend of yours. And I expected him to go, "Oh, hey Michael." But, then I realized that this guy has absolutely no idea who I am. Anyway, we talked a little and I parted with a phrase that is both inappropriate and totally threw him off. That was fun.

Alright I got to get back to work. Stop bothering me.

Clarity Prevails.

Allegiance

2006-07-02T11:07:00.000-07:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Keane - Under the Iron Sea

I'm Currently Reading: The Secret Message of Jesus by Brian McLaren

There are two great lies that I've heard
"The day you eat of the fruit of that tree, you will not surely die"
And that Jesus Christ was a white, middle-class republican
And if you wanna be saved you have to learn to be like him

Nothing unifies like a common enemy
And we've got one, sure as hell
But he may be living in your house
He may be raising up your kids
He may be sleeping with your wife
Oh no, he may not look like you think

My first allegiance is not to a flag, a country, or a man
My first allegiance is not to democracy or blood
It's to a King and a Kingdom

____________________________________________________

This 4th of July, let's not confuse patriotism with our faith. They are two very different things and one is of more importance by infinity. I love America, but sadly on days like these I look around and realize we do still have problems with idolatry. And for many, our golden calf is the United States of America. This morning, my pastor pleaded that we humble ourselves and bow down for America. Well, I bow down for nothing but my true King. If that makes me unpatriotic in anyone's eyes, then so be it. Yes, I do pledge allegiance to America and am grateful for it's freedoms. But they pale in comparison to my allegiance to a Kingdom of truth, love, peace, and mercy and a King that holds my heart for eternity. I pledge my first allegiance.

Clarity Prevails.

Passenger Seat

2006-06-09T21:41:00.000-07:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Death Cab for Cutie - Transatlanticism

I roll the window down
And then begin to breathe in
The darkest country road
And the strong scent of evergreen
From the passenger seat as you are driving me home

Then looking upwards
I strain my eyes and try
To tell the difference between shooting stars and satellites
From the passenger seat as you are driving me home

"Do they collide?"
I ask and you smile
With my feet on the dash
The world doesn't matter

"When you feel embarrassed then I'll be your pride
When you need directions then I'll be the guide
For all time...
...For all time"

Clarity Prevails.

Da Vinci II: Hints, Allegations and Things Left Unsaid

2006-05-23T10:00:00.000-07:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Hoobastank - Every Man for Himself

I'm Currently Watching: Alias - The Complete First Season

Well, I'm back in Rockwall for the summer. I'm interning at First Baptist until the fall. It will be fun. Anyway, I just wanted to share this blurb about the Da Vinci Code from my boy, Gordon Atkinson, a pastor, writer and dude who has one of the best blogs on the internet (Real Live Preacher). He, like me, loved the book and doesn't get all the hoopla. But, of course, he articulates better than me.

"Christianity is a major, world-wide religion. It is 2000 years old and is the largest common expression of spirituality in the history of humanity. Does the Christian Church really need to worry about a book and a movie? These things are here today and gone tomorrow, almost literally. The Christian Church has withstood the Roman Empire, medieval Christianity, and the Age of Enlightenment. Somehow the Church even manages to survive its most dangerous challenge - scandal, decadence, and corruption within its ranks. Will Dan Brown now topple us?

I understand a carefully worded response to scholarly inaccuracies, but I don't understand the anger, the outrage, and the hoopla. Anything more than a gentle, factual correction is as silly as if George Bush were to show up at Patooka Elementary School with the secret service because a 4th grader said something mean about him. It's as silly as if Ron Howard and Tom Hanks were to show up at my door, screaming at me for lifting a Da Vinci Code graphic from their website. Why would they bother? What threat am I to them?

The best and only appropriate response for the Church is to be about the business of the Church. Don't we have, I don't know, CHURCH things to be doing? Or even better, human things to be doing? If our love of humanity was as radical as Jesus called it to be, then we would never have to say a word.

In my mind, every time the Church responds to something like this with angry words, it is a bold indictment of our lack of active love, and therefore lack of relevance in this world."

To read the whole article, you can go to his website. Anyway, that's enough for me pertaining to this issue. Like Gordon says, it will all soon be forgotten. Although, I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to read that illustrated version of the Da Vinci Code, that thing is pretty sweet.

Clarity Prevails.

Ron Howard Loves Me, This I Know - For the Da Vinci Code Tells Me So

2006-05-20T07:39:00.000-07:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Starfield - Beauty in the Broken

I'm Currently Watching: Munich

I'm Currently Reading: Live from New York - An Uncensored History of Saturday Night Live As Told By It's Stars, Writers and Guests by Tom Shales & James Andrew Miller

So I saw the Da Vinci Code yesterday and it's pretty good. I read the book a while ago, before the all the ruckus. Both the book and the movie remind me of a smart man's Indiana Jones (not that Indiana Jones is for dumb people). I don't really understand the controversy surrounding the book. As far as I'm concerned, you'd have to be a moron to buy into what the movie presents about Jesus. It is true that Da Vinci believed all that stuff and included these little hints to it in his work, but that doesn't mean what he believed was true. Also, what the holy grail was meant to represent through history is also true, but again - just because these people believed this stuff doesn't make it true. I find it all very interesting, that doesn't mean I buy into what they believed.

And I was extremely pleased to find that they included a bit of very important dialogue from the book in the film, that shows the importance and power of faith. The film makes a point that faith in something is much more important than hard proof of it. And no, the book and film do not set out to disprove the holiness of Christ. It actually promotes faith in Christ. Faith, being the key word. One of the things the book spawned were TONS of books from Christian scholars disproving the beliefs of Da Vinci and the like. And it's kind of ironic, considering the message of the book. All that matters is what you believe not what can be proven. I, personally, don't want proof that Christ was the son of God. Then there would not be reason for faith. God doesn't want us all to see the truth of Christ, He wants us to believe it.

"Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so." I don't find that statement to be entirely true in my life. Sure, the Bible tells me Jesus loves me. But, that's not why I know - because I've been told it. The reason for me knowing transcends knowledge. I know Jesus loves me because I have faith that he does.

Clarity Prevails.

For Life...

2006-05-16T19:28:00.000-07:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Snow Patrol - Eyes Open

I'm Currently Watching: Rescue Me - The Complete Second Season

I'm Currently Reading: Gasping for Airtime - Two Years in the Trenches of Saturday Night Live by Jay Mohr

How bout them Mavs?

I guess that San Antonio band wagon isn't looking so comfortable anymore, huh?

Clarity Prevails.

Dirty Old Men

2006-05-09T20:34:00.000-07:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Sufjan Stevens - Come on Feel the Illinoise!

I'm Currently Watching: NewsRadio - The Complete Third Season

I was talking to Crystal today and she was telling me about when she worked at that old folk's home and about having to give the old men showers. Does no one else think this is wrong? College girls shouldn't be made to give any man a shower much less an old one who has nothing to lose. Why can't they make the girls give showers to just the ladies and the boys to just the men? Just because they are old doesn't mean they aren't dirty-minded. It's wrong, I'm telling you. Although, it does give us all something to look forward to when we get old.

Last night, I couldn't sleep so I got up around 3:30 and sneaked around the house and messed with Gordo. I stole things from his room, hid behind a plant and rang our doorbell and ran a few times. It was actually a lot of fun. Our house is perfect for hiding in the dark. I think Gordo is scared of me now.

Ladies and gentleman, my alter ego.

Clarity Prevails.

In My Own Write

2006-05-06T18:25:00.000-07:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Goo Goo Dolls - Let Love In

I was in the drive-thru at GW's Burgers yesterday. The woman in front of me had two bumper stickers on her car. One said, "Treehugger" and another said "Plants and animals are wiped off the earth to make room for your fat ass." I wondered if she knew she was in line to wipe animals off the earth to put room into her fat ass.

It really is true that when you are a Beatles fan, your favorite Beatle changes as you get older. I went from George Harrison to Paul McCartney and now I am infatuated with John Lennon. I think it's going to stop here. Lennon may be my favorite musical personality period. After he released his single, "Cold Turkey" he sent his M.B.E. medal (a huge British honor), which he got when he was with the Beatles, back to the Queen with a note that said, "Your Majesty, I am returning this M.B.E. in protest against Britain's involvement in the Nigeria-Biafra thing, against our support of America in Vietnam, and against 'Cold Turkey' slipping down the charts. With love, John Lennon of Bag" Genius.

Well, Crystal didn't end up dead yesterday, so that's good. But I'm pretty sure somebody named Crystal out there got dead because of me. Just as long as it's not ours. Anyway, Crystal, I'm glad you aren't dead and I love you even though you think I'm gay because I like Jewel. I think your gay because you're a lesbian.

Clarity Prevails.

Frayed

2006-05-03T21:12:00.000-07:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Jewel - Goodbye Alice in Wonderland

I'm Currently Reading: Lennon - The Definitive Biography by Ray Coleman

Something awesome happened a couple of nights ago. That's all you get, though.

The new Jewel album is really good. It's not like that last album of hers which I still don't get no matter how much Barry tries to explain it to me. The new album sounds like a cross between Spirit and This Way. That's a good thing. Also the new Goo Goo Dolls album, Let Love In, is good. It's better than Gutterflower, which was a mild dissapointment to me.

I still have to pimp the Fray, though. I've had their album a good long while now and it's still greatness. Have you ever had those defining albums that just goes completely well with your life at that given moment? Well, The Fray's album, How to Save a Life, is being that for me right now. Every song seems to go along with something I'm dealing with right now. I don't care who you are, you NEED to go buy this album. Seriously. Do it.

"And all at once the crowd begins to sing,
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same."
~ The Fray

Clarity Prevails.

As For Me and My Fort, We Will Serve the Lord

2006-04-26T15:25:00.000-07:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Simon & Garfunkel - Bridge Over Troubled Water

I'm Currently Watching: Quantum Leap - The Complete Fourth Season

We went and saw Lucky Number Slevin last Friday and I realized something. First, if they make a sequel to this movie and it's called Lucky Number Sleight, I'm going to kill myself. Second, I realized that a movie can be ruined if you already know that there is going to be a big twist at the end. I knew that there was going to be a twist in the movie from my mother telling me, which is not a surprise, but also I knew it because it's in the stinkin previews for the movie! What the crap? You see, I have this ability that I am thankful for. I can watch a movie or television show and simply not think about what's about to happen next. This makes the experience much better.

By the way, my BIGGEST pet peeve in this area is when I am watching something while I am in this mode, not thinking about what is about to happen, just flowing with the story, when someone who is with me decides to show everyone how smart they are and blurt out what they have now realized is about to happen. This makes me want to kill certain people.

Anyway, back to what I was saying. I think that just telling people that there is a twist in the movie ruins it. Since I knew there was a twist, it was hard for me to not think about what it was going to be as the movie started. Ten minutes into Slevin, I knew exactly what the twist was going to be. Albeit, there were smaller twists that I didn't think of, so it wasn't a total loss. Oh well, the movie was good anyway. It reminded me of a Hitchcock movie, with the screenplay written by Quentin Tarantino. And I'm starting to come around to Josh Hartnett, he's pretty dang good. He seems to be going the way of Brad Pitt, trying to not rely on his looks and take roles that negate them a bit.

I love Saturdays at our house. Everyone is home and we just have fun. This last Saturday, we all worked in the backyard for a while. And by worked, I mean Micah mowed, Sean and Gordo ripped up weeds, and I put on a luchador mask and a fedora and climbed trees while pelting Micah with walnuts. I always have to remind myself to stop and realize that this isn't going to go on forever and I always take a mental picture of it all. I'm gonna miss this house and these guys when it's all over. This is community in the spiritual sense to me. Being able to live with my friends (in a freaking sweet house, I might add) and just being in constant contact with them. I feel like it's preparing us all for the rest of our lives. It would be a shame if one of us neglected this opportunity to be here and wasted it all. Anyway, that little bit of shame will be gone soon. Milhouse is moving in next month.

Clarity Prevails.

III : Kingdom of God

2006-04-07T20:43:00.001-07:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Jimmy Eat World - Clarity

I'm Currently Watching: Entourage - The Complete First Season

I got my car back today. I missed her. Her radio is not working, now. This will be dealt with swiftly. My Venture guys won a basketball tournament in Rockwall. Their name? The Michael David Experience. I am honored.

The Kingdom of God is at hand. We just don't seem to know it. For some reason, most evangelicals believe that the Kingdom of God does not come until after the world ends. You know, Tim Lahaye and Jerry Jenkins have told you about this. After the 156 volume series of books comes the Kingdom of God.

I don't buy that. We've been called to further the coming of this kingdom. I think most people take this as just becoming a Christian, trying bravely and honorably to force your views on anyone you come in contact with and ignoring the fact that the world is screwed up until you die and then finally the Kingdom of God is here! No. Jesus said this kingdom is at hand. That doesn't sound like the end of the world. It sounds like right now. This instant. This kingdom is something that is coming, not something that will be coming. It's a kingdom that will be established on this earth by the imperfect people whom Christ gave grace.

It's strange to me that when bad things in the world happen, many Christians label it a sign that the end is getting closer. Because of this belief, most of us are in the mind-set that the world is going down and we got to save as many people as we can before the end. Therefore, most don't even try to make the world a better place. And by making the world a better place, I mean more along the lines of social action and loving others than I do ridding the world of homosexuality and anyone who does not hold to our beliefs.

Don't get me wrong, we can't bring the Kingdom of God in it's fullness by ourselves. We still need the return of Christ for it to be complete. But, I think that things will get better, not worse, before he finally comes. I believe that Christianity is still in it's infancy here on earth. It still hasn't been fully realized. Many of us are still struggling to even get the point of what Christ was all about and what he has called us to do. But, like I said, I think we're getting better and better. Slowly but most assuredly. We have been called by God to work torward this end, and I believe we will up until Christ comes back.

In the meantime, we shouldn't force our views on other people and try to abolish all of those who have different views. Christianity should be a community of people that try their best to show the world what's coming. To show them the future of our race, what this kingdom will look like in the end. And this should be done through the heart of Christ - kindness, love and understanding.

We shouldn't look at our world and it's future as something we have to survive. We need to look at our future as something good, but can only be that way through our actions and love as Christ's hands in this world. We need to be living each day with our true purpose close to heart. It's not about waiting for Christ. It's about preparing for Christ. Each day is a new day to get our hands dirty and crawl inch by inch to the glorious Kingdom of God.

Philippians 1:6 - "The one who began a good work among you will bring it to completion by the day of Jesus Christ."

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Peace & Carrots

2006-03-30T20:24:00.000-08:00

I'm Currently Listening To: The Beatles - Abbey Road

I'm Currently Watching: The Wire - The Complete Second Season

Ok, negotiations have fallen through on the girl roommate thing. We were trying to work it out for the great Lindsay Shartzer to move in. But, it was really just a fun idea to throw around, I don't think we were ever that serious about it. Oh, but the fun that would have been had. It could have been just like Three's Company, we would have had to convince Forrest that Lindsay was a lesbian and every time he would come over we would have to hide her dates and then some big misunderstanding would happen and hilarity would ensue.

I've been asked to speak at Journey again this upcoming Wednesday. Please be praying for me. This is my third time to speak there and it's starting to become really comfortable, which to me is dangerous. When it starts becoming comfortable it might start to be about me and that's not what I want. Pray that I continue to have the understanding that it's all about God and that I am a mere tool with which he chooses to use, which is beyond me. Also, be praying for me about a certain decision I will be making that could be mildly life-altering.

That's all I got. Word to your mothers. Peace to your brothers. Carrots to your sisters.

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The Sweet Ain't So Sweet Without the Sour

2006-03-26T16:48:00.000-08:00

I'm Currently Listening To: The Bravery - The Bravery

I'm Currently Watching: The Wire - The Complete Second Season

Television rocks right now. This has been the best season of 24 yet, the Sopranos has kicked off an awesome season so far, & after The Shield's superb finale, things have been set up to what should be their best season yet. Also, this has been the best NCAA tournament in a LONG time. George Mason all the way.

I'm definitely going through some re-evaluation of some things. Something that I thought I wanted and needed is starting to become less so. The change kind of scares me, but there is nothing that I can do about it. I guess I can only be responsible for what I do, and not what I wish others would do. What I thought would be a hard thing to kick is being made very easy for me. I just don't know if I wanted it to be easy anymore... Definitely confused.

Also, since I thrive off of keeping you people in the dark. I will give you a hint as to who we want our new roommate to be. I'll give you two words...

...girl roommate.

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An Exciting Development

2006-03-18T20:20:00.000-08:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Cake - Comfort Eagle

I'm Currently Watching: The Jacket

We here at Fort Awesome are going to have to get a new roommate after Gordo leaves this summer. Cody and I have a plan. We are in negotiations with someone who will not be named quite yet. But, if it does happen, it will be a very surprising and awesome contribution to the great fort.

Cody and I almost wet ourselves when we saw this.

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Very Dramatical

2006-03-16T16:03:00.000-08:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Caedmon's Call - In the Company of Angels II: The World Will Sing

I'm Currently Watching: The Wire - The Complete First Season

I saw Dennis Quaid today at Taco Bell. I approached him and told him that I loved his work in Undercover Blues. He just looked at me funny. Dennis Quaid is kind of strange.

My cell phone is on life support right now at Cingular. In other words, if you have been trying to get me on the phone this week, that's why I haven't answered. I should be getting it back sometime this weekend. Hold and keep your horse-pants on.

I am in college basketball heaven right now. March Madness is one of my happy places. I'm in three pools right now. One with a bunch of the guys, one with people from my old workplace and I even joined the Facebook one. My final four picks are Duke, Memphis, Connecticut & Boston College with UConn beating Memphis in the championship game.

Another happy place comes Sunday nights now because the Sopranos is back. And holy crap the first episode of the new season was awesome.

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In Honor of My Random Anti-Social Phases

2006-03-14T23:58:00.000-08:00

I'm Currently Listening To: The Beatles - Hey Jude

I'm Currently Watching: The West Wing - The Complete Fourth Season

My basic goal every day is to not get pregnant. But some days, my goal is to avoid speaking with another live human being. I complain about the world being this way because it is a fashionable gripe, but I secretly do everything I can to avoid interacting with other so-called humans. I remember the wisdom my father imparted to me every year on my birthday: "Son, if you avoid eye contact, then maybe, just maybe, they won't knife you." Then, with tremendous fanfare and laughter, my father would knife me for emphasis.

The truth is that I believe myself to be painfully uninteresting and I know any conversation will increase the possible exposure of this dangerous social flaw. If my cell phone rings, my heart starts racing. So I mute the ring and procrastinate checking the voicemail for a few weeks. If my doorbell chimes? I dive under old clothes and hold a quivering pistol to my head while sweating and mumbling prayers in improvised Spanish. I hate that I am like this, but I have social anxiety. And bird flu.

I think the whole world is becoming a collection of isolated cocoons rather than the interactive society God intended it to be, and sadly, that's fine with me as long as I don't have to issue pleasentries. E-mail, voicemail, tall fences, disease, fear, all of them are important allies in my quest to remain in a womb of anti-social bliss.

Gordon Keith is my hero.

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The Little Things

2006-03-11T22:52:00.000-08:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Chris Rice - Smell the Color 9

I'm Currently Watching: The West Wing - The Complete Fourth Season

Here is a quote I wanted to put with my last entry, but I forgot to. It's from one of my favorite writers, Gordon Atkinson - "Theology can only ever be simple thoughts from simple minds that are forever trapped in moments of time." He nails it.

Bud Selig has finally done something good in his career. I am absolutely loving the World Baseball Classic tournament. I still hate Selig, though. I say that when they elect a new commissioner for baseball, they need to elect a former player. And then have a ceremonial burning of Bud. Anyway, I really like Mexico's away jerseys but they aren't selling any away jerseys. So, if anyone wants to somehow come across one of those green and red away jerseys, please... think of me.

The other night, me, Barry, Lindsay, Sean, Gordo, Micah and Aly hung out and smoked cigars. For some reason, I find it amusing when I smoke with girls. It's just not something you expect girls to enjoy, like poker. Anyway, they always make me laugh. By far, Crystal was the funniest. But, that night, Lindsay cracked me up with this great line - "I feel so French." I'm not sure what it means, but it's dang funny.

You know how amongst great people, places, things or events, it's the little things that really make the difference. Once they are put into the equation, it makes the experience perfect. Well, it works the other way also. When you think you are doing fine in a certain situation and then the tiniest and most inconsequential of things suddenly triggers despair. Well, I've been triggered. Sometimes I wish I was somebody else, living somewhere else with different thoughts and instincts. Damned pride. I pray daily for God to rob me of it. But, sometimes I think it's the only thing saving me, keeping me dependent on my Lord.

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II : Theology

2006-03-08T13:57:00.000-08:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Downhere - So Much for Substitutes

I'm Currently Watching: The West Wing - The Complete Third Season

Here is something Christians really like to do. We like to develop our theologies, which most of the time consists of just what we've been taught by other people all our lives, and then sit on it and defend it all like it is absolute truth. Dare I go ahead and just say it - we need to be much more flexible in our theology. How can we presume to have everything figured out? We don't. Every single one of us has different beliefs about certain things about our faith and every single one of us is wrong about many of our beliefs. But, that's not what it's all really about. It's not about being right or wrong. It's about constantly discovering God. It's about being open to Him and letting Him shape our thoughts as we live our lives. This is what a relationship with God is - having a constant conversation with the creator of the universe about His ways and the ways of His universe.

It's safe to say that many of my present beliefs will be different in five years, because I will be much further along in my conversation with God. When I die, I won't be going to the afterlife knowing everything. Even then, I will have many things wrong - but I will have had the satisfaction of knowing my creator better. Be open to new ideas about your beliefs. Have faith that God will work them out with you and either confirm your previous belief or show you something new and closer to the truth. Have a conversation with someone who holds a different belief about a certain subject. If you both have finding God in mind, then you will both benefit from comparing your beliefs. I believe the people who refuse to question their beliefs daily are the faithless. That's a harsh statement, but I believe it is true. I used to be one of those people. When I began questioning and examining the things I believe, I found myself face to face with God. I know now that He wants this of us. He wants us to grow like this, depending on Him the whole way through. It may be a cliched saying, but it's all about the journey, not the destination. That is so true.

1 Corinthians 13:9-10 "We know in part and we prophesy in part, but when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away."

"The one thing that I am sure of when I get to Heaven is that I will have to edit my theology." ~ Leonard Sweet

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Wrong Again Again

2006-03-05T20:54:00.000-08:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Relient K - MMHMM

I'm Currently Watching: The West Wing - The Complete Second Season

Ok, ok, it's not like this is the first time I have been wrong. By far. Anyway, Brokeback did not win best picture. Crash did. Which is a good thing because that's a great movie and is more deserving anyway. Still, I would have bet vital parts of my anatomy to Brokeback winning. Usually, the Academy picks winners through a political filter. Like all actors who play a retarded or somehow mentally handicapped person win Oscars. This year, it didn't seem so much and I liked that. John Stewart did a pretty good job hosting. My favorite line of his from the night - "For those of you keeping count - Martin Scorcese, 0 Oscars. Three 6 Mafia, 1."

Also, I think George Clooney is the man and I think Charlize Theron is way overrated.

Good night and good luck.

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I : Salvation

2006-03-03T23:15:00.000-08:00

I'm Currently Listening To: David Crowder*Band - A Collision or (3+4=7)

I'm Currently Watching: The West Wing - The Complete Second Season

Salvation is something God and I have been conversing about for a long while now. Our conversations always begin with God challenging me about something. We begin wrestling over it and I've noticed that the wrestling stops when I finally come to terms with the wonder of God. When I can finally lay my pre-conceived notions and the desire for a "yes or no" answer down, that is when the real conversation begins. Oh, and by the way, this conversation doesn't end until I die. It may not even end at that point. Who knows. Wonder, remember? So, here is my feeble attempt to share where I am at right now on this particular issue.

Many of us have it in our heads that getting saved is the end-all be-all of Christianity. In other words, after we say a certain thing to God or walk down the aisle, we are suddenly clear of all responsibility. We think we have done what we were put here for and now all we have to do is wait until we die and reap the benefits. However, the most important thing about salvation is not that we get to go to Heaven. It's that we get live on the earth with the privilege of being the embodiment of Christ, no matter what part of that body we are. Salvation is not a one time thing, it's a lifelong journey.

Do I believe you can lose your salvation? No. However, I do believe that there are many church-going people who believe themselves to be Christians, but aren't. These are those people whose salvation was a single event that happened to them, and not a daily state of their heart. It's a very sad thing to think about, but I believe we are going to be surprised by who is not in Heaven with us one day. Also, I believe we will be surprised by many who are in Heaven. I believe that it is very possible that people who we did not consider "Christians" will be in Heaven.

Christians like to put restrictions on things. We like to have clean-cut rules and matter-of-fact declarations. Yes, I believe that the only way to salvation is through Jesus Christ. The New Testament is clear that we are guaranteed salvation by asking forgiveness of our sins and becoming followers of Christ. But here's the thing that gets me. Jesus constantly broke "rules." And above all things, he was merciful. It doesn't sit well with me to act as if there is no way someone is going to Heaven if he or she doesn't do what I did. It's absolutely not my place to say who is and who is not granted salvation. In fact, every time we do that I believe we are blaspheming because God is the only one who can make that decision. And since I believe that God is not bound by earthly rules and since I know that He is a merciful God, I have to entertain the thought that he would give grace to anyone He would choose to. He did it in the Old Testament. He chose people to bless, even to the extent of bringing them to Him as in Elijah's case. I don't believe God is a graceful God. I believe He's an amazingly graceful God. He is a wild God who does what He pleases. No matter what theological box we try and fit Him into on earth, he will always break out and amaze us. That I surely know to be true.

Romans 11:33-36 "Is there anyone around who can explain God? Anyone smart enough to tell Him what to do? Anyone who has done Him such a huge favor that God has to ask his advice? Everything comes from Him; Everything happens through Him; Everything ends up in Him. Always glory! Always praise! Amen."

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General Ramblings and Sergeant Musings

2006-02-28T00:03:00.000-08:00

I'm Currently Listening To: The Cars - Shake It Up

I'm Currently Watching: The West Wing - The Complete First Season

Does anyone get that title? Or do I think I am wittier than I actually am for asking that question?

Waco is amazing. You walk around and see the most beautiful girls with the biggest tools. I'm not kidding. You'll see a pretty girl and she'll be on the arm of Steve Urkell. It's ridiculous.

The Coldplay concert was amazing yet again. I adore Chris Martin. That's right. I adore a man and I'm not ashamed to say it. Coldplay is the greatest band to see live because almost every one of their songs is an anthem. It's a spiritual experience. I also found out something about Crystal at the concert. Ask her why she hates overweight handicapped people so much. Go on. Ask.

I just got one of those private messages on Facebook from a girl who I haven't talked to since senior year of high school. In the message, she says she misses me. I will go out on a limb and call bullcrap on this one. Facebook is starting to turn into False Sincerity Book.

The Sopranos starts back up again on the 12th. I absolutely cannot wait. I also can't wait for this.

My next post will be my theological thoughts that I spoke of earlier. Prepare thyself.

Clarity Prevails.

"He's a Big Bear!"

2006-02-23T18:56:00.000-08:00

I'm Currently Listening To: The Rolling Stones - Aftermath

I was in a wreck today. I got rear-ended by a girl named Melinda. I felt really bad for her, though. But, that's too bad because I'm not paying for my back bumper. Gordo was with me, so of course we couldn't help but laugh at the whole thing. I think it made her feel worse, since we were laughing. And I think the cop may have thought we were drunk or high or something. He told me that there are better ways to meet women. I agreed.

The Weather Man is definitely on my top ten of 2005. It's a great film. It's just a simple little character study, but it's really good. Most character-driven films are interesting, but not that entertaining. This film does both excellently. I think Nicolas Cage is one of the best actors working today.

I'm gonna start to do a series of posts soon about different areas of spirituality and my thoughts on them. It's more of a way to just get my thoughts together and in the process refine my beliefs and even keep challenging them. I'll start those next week. For tomorrow, Gordo and I are going to Waco to see Meredith's basketball game and then the Coldplay concert on Sunday night. I am going to steal a shoe from Chris Martin.

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Brokeback to the Future: Part II

2006-02-22T16:01:00.000-08:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Moby - Hotel

I'm Currently Watching: Family Guy - Volume Three

Can we all at least agree that Brokeback Mountain has done one thing right, in that it finally has gotten across the fact that all cowboys are gay?

But seriously, Brokeback Mountain will win the Best Picture Oscar at the Academy Awards. I don't think it deserves the win, but since when has the Academy cared about that? Personally, I think Munich deserves to win by a large gap. If Brokeback Mountain was a story about a boy and a girl who were in love but were not able to be together for some kind of social class reason, it wouldn't win. However, this is about two gay cowboys and because of that, it will win. The reason is because of the fact it's about two gay cowboys infuriates the conservatives, so they make a huge deal about it. Therefore, the liberals (which comprises most of the film industry) see the conservatives up in arms about the film, and so their natural reaction is to adore the film and call it a masterpiece just to piss off the conservatives.

Don't even get me started on how this is pretty much are political system today. The conservatives become more and more extreme just because of their hatred for the liberals, and the liberals do the same. This completely divides our country into two factions of children who just want to piss off the other, instead of trying to run the country in the best way possible. (Because if you are a conservative, God forbid liberals actually have some good ideas, and vice versa. Next time you vote, look deeply at your Christian ethics and beliefs instead of what political party you think you belong to.) Which is why I can't stand conservatives, I can't stand liberals, and why Brokeback Mountain will win the Oscar.

Clarity Prevails.

Brokeback Blog

2006-02-18T23:32:00.000-08:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Judah - Simplistic

I'm Currently Watching: The Matrix Revolutions

I'm Currently Reading: Adventures in Missing the Point by Brian D. McLaren & Tony Campolo

I have a strong recommendation. Somehow obtain for yourself "Adventures in Missing the Point" by Brian McLaren & Tony Campolo and read it. I'm serious, now. I highly suggest you do this. McLaren is one of my favorite authors and Christian thinkers. And I strongly suggest picking up this book. I don't think you will be sorry.

I love the Matrix films. But, I don't think it's for the same reason that most people like them. It's such a genius and epic fusion of scientific, theological and philosophical thinking seamlessly fused into an entertaining story. There is not a film in the world that is as thematically rich and has more depth than these films. Yet the movie nerd digresses.

Now onto the purpose and most likely, controversial, point of this entry. Ladies and gentleman, I Michael David Manley, a "born-again" Christian, has seen Brokeback Mountain. Okay, enough with the drama. It's always funny how surrounding movies like this, the movie usually turns out to be not the biggest part of the whole. Usually, the movie itself is cast into a shadow by the reactions and pre-conceived notions of the populace. In my opinion, the film isn't that great (despite what the Oscar nominations would lead to believe - but more on that later.) I think the film was good, very good actually. But, that's not the point is it?

I don't understand Christians boycotting this movie. Well, let me rephrase. I can understand not wanting to see the movie. It's not like I was all hyped-up to see two male cowboys try something that has always seemed, to me, a lesson in futility (By the way, there is no explicit cowboy sex in the film). No, I get not wanting to see the film. What I don't get is the Christians who have set out to make it a point to not only not see it, but to stop the whole world from seeing it also. I don't get Christians who declare it as evil and all the negative stuff we're used to hearing without even seeing it in the first place.

This is a very broad subject to write about, but I am going to make it concise by just adding my reason for seeing the movie and for not having a problem with their being "gay cowboy" movies out there. First, I have to ask what's the difference between this and seeing films that we watch everyday that include murder, sex, drug use & the oh-so-horrific "cursing?" Why is a film that involves homosexuals crossing the line? Secondly, I think films like this can actually be helpful to God's people. What's wrong with gaining real insight on a homosexual's point of view? What's wrong with admitting that they are real people with real problems? It's almost as if the religious right is trying to ignore the fact that there are even homosexuals on the planet.

The film is not about homosexuality, believe it or not. It's about love (however misguided we believe it to be) and longing. It's about accepting a socially acceptable life rather than pursuing a passion. It's about lying to oneself and others. These are things that gay people in America grasp with every day. Interesting, how also these are things many of us grapple with also, albeit in different ways. I believe it's our duty as Christians and as the embodiment of Christ in the world to try and understand and to love these people, just like everyone else we're supposed to love. The film helped me to grow closer to seeing the humanity in homosexuals that too many conservative Christians try and debunk and refuse to look at through the eyes of Christ. I will even go out on a limb and recommend seeing this movie. I don't believe it can do any harm to the faithful. And, once again, I am not in any way trying to attack those of you who just have simply made a personal decision to not see the film. Our convictions are our own. I'll respect yours if you respect mine.

My next entry will be about why, even though I don't believe the movie to be that good, it will when the Oscar for best picture and why it may very well be the religious right's doing.

Clarity Prevails.

"Melissa Is Eating Her Babies!"

2006-02-16T02:32:00.000-08:00

I'm Currently Listening To: The Postal Service - Give Up

I just finished reading the Exorcist. I had never read it and have always heard that it is really good, so I gave it a look. It's actually really good. There's a lot of really good stuff in it that deals with the nature of evil in the world and what role it plays with us and with God. While reading it, I also realized how allegorical the book is to Christ's sacrifice for our sins at the end. If you have ever seen the movie or read the book, than you know what I am talking about. It also tapped into something I've been thinking about lately in the idea of even Satan and evil in the world being and adhering to the will of God, so that there can be a comparison to God's goodness and even the goodness man is capable of. Anyway, here's some excerpts of a good speech given by Father Merrin that I liked...

"At last I realized that God would never ask of me that which I know to be psychologically impossible; that the love which He asked was in my will and not necessarily to be felt as emotion at all. He was asking that I act with love; that I do unto others; and that I should do it unto those that repelled me, I believe, was a greater act of love than any other."

"There is where evil strives. Not in possessions, extraordinary interventions such as here. No, I see it most often in the little things: in the senseless, petty spites; the misunderstandings; the cruel and cutting word that leaps unbidden to the tongue between friends. Between lovers. Enough of these and we have no need of Satan to manage our wars; these we manage for ourselves."

I have seen Saw II and it's just as good as the first. Those two movies are the smartest horror movies to come around in a long time. I also saw the documentary, Grizzly Man. It's the most unintentionally funny movie I have ever seen. I was laughing out loud through the whole thing. By the way, the title of this post is a quote from the movie. I love it.

By the way, I have an incriminating AIM conversation on file that I had with Crystal. I will gladly show anyone who is interested, it's much like Grizzly Man in it's hilarity. Grizzly Crystal, you might say...

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Arrested Development, Indeed

2006-02-14T14:58:00.000-08:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Mute Math - Mute Math

I'm Currently Watching: The X Files - The Complete Third Season

Mute Math is greatness. They are one of the best things music has to offer right now. They're different in that they go out of their way to make a great studio album, and not just think about how things will sound live and then put it on an album. Although, I have heard that their live show is amazing, which makes it even cooler that they can pull this off.

Love Monkey has been shelved. I hate CBS. If it's not a procedural crime drama then they won't take a chance on anything. I was really getting into that show, too. Couldn't anyone have explained to them that it was the most watched show on television with "Monkey" in the title? I hate CBS.

I have also watched what will most likely be the last episode of Arrested Development. Sure, there is still talk about Showtime or ABC picking it up, but hope is a lost concept in the world of network television. Despite winning many awards and being on hundreds of critics top ten lists, Arrested is now dead. Why? Because FOX wouldn't know how to promote George Burns coming back from the dead, much less television gold. The last episode did have some closure and things came full circle nicely. But, it still hurts to know that there could have been more genius to come. Which is why I, myself, will now forever be in arrested development.

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George Bush Doesn't Care About Donkey-People

2006-02-09T22:24:00.000-08:00

I'm Currently Listening To: The Beatles - Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band

Animal-human hybrids? Am I the only one who didn't realize this kind of thing was going on? I feel like I'm living in Narnia and never knew about it.

All I've been listening to for the past month and a half is the Beatles. I hate it too, because it's so cliche to love the Beatles. Even people who never listen to the Beatles just like to say they like the Beatles because they think it makes them cultured and cool. But, I really do adore them now. Promise. I don't think it makes me any more cool than I already obviously am, but I love them nonetheless.

I finally got to see Elizabethtown and it is greatness with a capital G. Cameron Crowe is one of my favorite filmmakers and here is why. 1.) The man is amazing at developing relationships on screen, especially romantic ones. I'm not gonna lie, his movies make me feel like a teenage girl at the prom. 2.) He understands one of the main components in films should always be character development. and 3.) He expertly blends the absolute perfect songs into the movie at any given moment, making a great scene a spectacular scene. (e.g. Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes" in Say Anything & Cat Steven's "The Wind" in Almost Famous.) He rocks.

It's nice to see all the ways in which God can tell you he's still here, involved in your life. That's something he's been letting me know a lot lately. God loves me. Elizabeth's smile tells me so.

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Untitled, Couldn't Think of One or I Guess This Could Just Be the Title, Yeah That Works

2006-01-19T22:20:00.000-08:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Newsboys - Take Me To Your Leader

I'm Currently Watching: 24 - The Complete Fourth Season

The guys and I have a new fun game called Chesting that we stole from Four Kings. It's awesome. Also, our gas bill was huge this month, so we are trying to live without gas and just in case, electricity. So, if you come visit and there are no lights on, it's okay. Except it's real hard to go to the bathroom like that, but you get used to it.

Just an FYI to those of you Hardin-Simmoners. I am taking this semester off so I can work more and make money so I can continue going to this school. Anyway, it's been really boring but I should start working soon. So some of you won't be seeing me as much this semester. So get over it.

Cory, or "Cooby" or "Cozy" or "Cobra" is coming tomorrow night. Party at the Fort. Except for you, you're not invited.

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Crazy-Mart

2006-01-18T23:02:00.000-08:00

I'm Currently Listening To: John Lennon - Milk and Honey

I'm Currently Watching: 24 - The Complete Fourth Season

Tonight, Gordo and I went to Wal-Mart and a mother and her daughter walked passed us wearing surgical masks and gloves. While passing, the mother sneezed on me. I think I am now terminally ill and will be dying in March along with Crystal. Oh well. I got this apple soda stuff called Manzanita Sol. It tastes like apple...soda.

I watched Tom Cavanaugh's new show, Love Monkey. He makes me laugh. I like it. And I am already a tad emotionally involved because I want him and that blond chick to get together. Also, Invasion is getting better and better. I'm really starting to love that show. 24 is also back and so far it is on it's way to being my favorite season so far. For those of you who are keeping up with it on DVD, I won't spoil anything. But within the first five minutes of the first episode our jaws dropped to the floor. I could not believe what happened. It was freaking awesome. I've always said what sets 24 apart from other shows is that it has balls. My point was proven after that first episode. Jack Bauer is the biggest Bad-A to ever come across a television screen. I'm so pumped for the final season of the Sopranos in March. Tony's gonna bite it.

Clarity Prevails.

Things That Are Beyond Me

2006-01-12T02:23:00.000-08:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Sia - Colour the Small One

I'm Currently Watching: Sports Night - The Complete Series

1. God.

2. The fact that many people think God is not beyond them.

3. Why Sports Night was cancelled.

4. My girlfriend's adoration of me.

5. The greatness of Coldplay.

6. How Christians can support the death penalty.

7. Pork Rinds. How people can eat fried pig flesh and be okay with it, I'll never know. At least, when I eat them, I feel wrong inside.

8. How people are blind to the beauty of God interwoven in our culture.

9. Why people don't buy Macs more.

10. Panty hose.

A few things have happened as of late. Gordo, Milhouse and I took a trip to Shreveport where we all lost small sums of money, but got a big sweet free room. I have tried beer and it's not that great, I don't see what all the hype is about. It kinda tastes like feet-juice. I like the girly-drinks better, margaritas and what-have-you. Rum and Coke is pretty good too.

I have a newfound love of the Beatles. I've always really liked them, but for a long time I have only listened to their big hits. I have recently taken a weekend and downloaded every single one of their core albums and it's all so good. Timeless, in fact. And so now I have one of the greatest ambitions I've ever had. I desperately want to make a biography film about the Beatles. But, here's the catch. It's not a film, it's a television show. I would put it on HBO and it would run about three to four seasons. Out of all my ideas, this is my most clear one. I have so much of it worked out in my head, it's a shame that it will never happen. But it's fun to dream about.

Clarity Prevails.

The Birth of iMichael

2005-12-31T12:37:00.000-08:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Derek Webb - Mockingbird

I'm Currently Watching: The Shield - The Complete Fourth Season

I am now the proud owner of an iMac. I iLove it. I also got a new 60 gig color iPod. The name "Bill Gates" and the word "Windows" shall never be uttered in my presence again.

Last night, Elizabeth and I realized that we are actually a couple now. We were eating dinner at Chipotle and didn't talk for awhile, we had just run out of things to talk about. And it wasn't at all an uncomfortable silence. I also think that we are the greatest couple on earth. Seriously. We rock hard. I dare you to challenge us.

Derek Webb rules. And so does the Shield.

Clarity Prevails.

Tip/Nuck

2005-12-21T11:31:00.000-08:00

I'm Currently Listening To: The Goo Goo Dolls - Dizzy up the Girl

I'm Currently Watching: Seinfeld - The Complete Fifth Season

I'm Currently Reading: The Beatles - The Biography by Bob Spitz

Nip/Tuck season finale. Absolute greatness.

This book I'm reading about the Beatles is greatness also. Even if you aren't a Beatles fan, I highly recommend picking it up.

New Back to the Future film in the works = mixed emotions.

I'm 21. Let's get drunk.

Clarity Prevails.

Six Feet Over

2005-12-17T23:21:00.000-08:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Johnny Cash - American III: Solitary Man

I'm Currently Watching: Friends - The Complete Tenth Season

I'm Currently Reading: Six Feet Under - Better Living Through Death by Alan Ball

Elizabeth got me that awesome Six Feet Under book for my birthday. It's so freakin cool. You have to look through it to understand how freakin cool it is. It's one of the most original things I have ever seen. Reading it is like closure with me, because I still miss the greatest show to ever air on television. Elizabeth knows me so well. She's the bomb in Phantoms, yo.

For those of you going to the Sunday school Christmas party, my white elephant gift is off the hizzy.

Clarity Prevails.

A Good Day for Good Comedy

2005-12-17T04:07:00.000-08:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Natalie Imbruglia - Left of the Middle

I'm Currently Watching: Aqua Teen Hunger Force - The Complete First Season

Why is it a good day for good comedy? I just found out that both ABC and Showtime are fighting over the rights for Arrested Development to continue on their network. Greatness lives on.

I love Natalie Imbruglia. Sue me.

Clarity Prevails.

Why Chris Martin Is Better Than Everyone

2005-12-16T01:57:00.000-08:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Collective Soul - Youth

I'm Currently Watching: Curb Your Enthusiasm - The Complete Third Season

I just watched Coldplay on Conan O'Brien and Chris Martin is the coolest person on the planet, I swear. He went and sat in the audience while singing "Talk" and serenaded Max Weinberg during the performance. Then at the end of the show, he did a duet of "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" with Conan. It was genius.

I've decided that I could totally write a sitcom based on Fort Awesome. So many funny things go down there that it would be great. So, sorry Crystal, I'm canceling plans on your sitcom. You can have a part as our neighbor who we get into trouble all the time.

Clarity Prevails.

Clarity? What Clarity?

2005-12-09T01:48:00.000-08:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Oasis - (What's the Story) Morning Glory?

I'm Currently Watching: Seinfeld - The Complete Fourth Season

BIG FAT EXPLETIVE.

Frustration

2005-12-06T21:22:00.000-08:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Counting Crows - Hard Candy

I'm Currently Watching: The Shield - The Complete Second Season

I had a phone conversation with someone from my past today that was quite interesting. I can't tell you who it is, though.

Tonight, something foul was afoot in the dark chambers of Fort Awesome. I can't tell you who or what it was, though.

Cody and I made a new band to replace Liquid Future. I can't tell you what the name is or what our hit song is called. I can tell you that our nemesis are the Foo Fighters. We call them out, hard.

I finally got rid of the moth balls that Cody hid in my room. I can't tell you where I put them, though.

I had dinner at the Chico with Gordo and Milhouse tonight. They are my core. I can't tell you why, though.

You're really freaking nosy, you know that?

Clarity Prevails.

Back to the Present: Part IV

2005-12-06T00:23:00.000-08:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Imogen Heap - Speak for Yourself

I'm Currently Watching: Miracles - The Complete Series

I've been watching re-runs of Boston Public on the WE channel. That's right, the Women's Entertainment channel. I'm fine with that. And now that I'm older, I think I understand why teachers in high school would always scowl at me when I would say, "Hey, I know what it's like for you, I watch Boston Public."

Is it just me or are James Blunt and Steve Nash the same freaking person? Seriously, they could be twins. A few months from now, Dirk is going to leave the Mavericks and then suddenly there will be this new German rapper on the scene who is very controversial because of his white supremacy lyrics... Dare I reference the great theme song... "It's the Dirk Nowitzki show! / It's the Dirk Nowitzki show! / It's the show where I dance for you! / It's the show where I kill the Jew!"

...That's racist.

Oh, and also, James Blunt - James Taylor called. He wants his voice back.

[From IMDB.com - " Lawyers for Jennifer Aniston are threatening legal action, after learning that snapshots of the actress sunbathing topless in her home are in circulation."]

...Must...keep....from....fainting....

*THUD*

Clarity Prevails.

Question & Confession

2005-12-01T14:23:00.000-08:00

I'm Currently Listening To: Jars of Clay - If I Left the Zoo

I'm Currently Watching: ER - The Complete Third Season

Question: Why is chicken noodle soup supposed to heal all ailments?

Confession: My pride gets in the way of myself and the people I love.

I am Indiana Jones.

Clarity Prevails.